2) The Mind Adventure

Part of me is holding together and part of me is letting go.

Those parts might describe to the reader a duality and yet they are both substantially the same thing; alternate expressions of my core, soul, or said another way: being real (real being?).

When I experience or think about 'holding together' I am aware of the parts of me that really think this kidney adventure is important, physical, and a threat to the entity that is Jack. That part of my consciousness, as I lay on the couch (at home), in the quiet afternoon sun ("resting"), considering 'consciouosness', has no real fear... but continues to internally acknowledge, support (love), and gather together my self... kinda like "circling the wagons". Calling out to all parts and provinces, "Get ready for the battle and then the long-run". On some semi-conscious level the holding together part visualizes green glowing kidneys that operate like we all expect them to.

Can you imagine how out of whack your body gets when your kidneys go haywire? It's an amazing thing how many fuctions they take care of as a part of their essence (more later on the functions of the kidney in the human body).
My 'letting go' self enters softly as I lay in consciousness, whispering "this too shall pass" , or "it's not about the kidneys". Kidneys represent the physical parts we are all over-involved with, afraid of, worried about, attached to, in love with, and trying to control. As I lay there my 'letting go' self knows that my body is simply a body... and is just perfect the way it is in this moment. This part of my self knows that it doesn't really matter what approach I take to my kidney adventure; my chosen American Medicine Way, the eastern herbal and accupuncture way, or any of the myriad other ways to 'deal' with it. The 'letting go' me sees beyond (?) the duality of right and wrong, so any approach choice is simply an approach choice. It is interesting to note that along similar lines of thought, the 'letting go' self isn't really a 'self' at all, but an observation of the relationship between the perceived 'self' and esoteric consciousness.

When I am 'letting go' I am experiencing, visualizing, or meditating on the non-duality; remembering that all the pain and joy in life are expressions of compassion.... remembering that all the 'holding together' and 'letting go' are the dance of being.