April 18, 2020
Saturday
State of the Household: As I woke up this morning my first thought was, "I wish we still had cartoons on Saturday mornings". This thought immediately indicated to me that I was beginning the day reminiscing about simpler times or unstuck in reality.
Six weeks of social distancing by sheltering in place with daily reminders about how many people "now" have the corona-virus, and how many died from COVID-19 increase my anxiety about life. It is one thing to have anxiety about MY health and situation, yet on some level I can keep a sense of control. I take my daily meds, keep up with the doctors' recommendations, eat healthy, and follow my blood pressure. These give me some sense of being the captain of my vessel.
Fear and anxiety about "catching" the coronavirus is like sailing my fairly ship shape boat out into a dark sea of danger: where there are unknown, unpredictable, and potentially deadly toxins. To make matters worse, the current weather service administration has
has added to people's mistrust and confusion about what is accurate and real. Are there enough tests? Is it safe for folks to begin going out into the now empty world? Will the pandemic level off with relaxing the Stay Home recommendations?
Saturday morning cartoons were a "safe" metaphor of children's perspective of reality; where images of the uncertainty and fear about the present and the future didn't have much of a hold on young minds (aside from the worry about "the A Bomb" bursting our bubble).
Our concern for our health... My anxiety for MY health is one motivator for maintaining all the suggestions the "experts" make for staying safe
April 1, 2020
Wednesday
Sheltering in place: Many of us are now inside ~ we are home-bound and sequestered by an unceasing cacophony of bad news and public warnings about COVID-19. It's like waking up in a the middle of a low budget sci-fi movie that has all the EXIT doors locked. Outside is an invisible virus that invades people who are unaware of its devastating consequences. It quickly overcomes the unwary and puts them at the mercy of a vastly unprepared government bureaucracy. Inside, people are huddled together are 6 foot intervals, squint watching for minuscule droplets of each others' saliva and snot, wiping down all non-porous surfaces with Clorox, and washing their hands obsessively.
For us who are in the "high risk" group, we
have become hyper-aware of the possibility that coronavirus can live on polypropylene (plastic) and metal
surfaces up to 3 days! We are careful to only go out when it's safe; we wipe down surfaces in our homes, and we wash our hands more than ever before, and today I got a couple masks from a friend of mine. Just in case the folks who are now suggesting mask wearing outdoors or at stores is a good idea.
It is almost unfathomable to think that just a month ago I was wondering if the Texas Longhorns were going to make it into March Madness. And then, in just a few weeks we all found ourselves in a March Madness that had nothing to do with basketball.
I got used to finding out I had PKD. I coped with that crisis by learning all I could about PKD and changing my diet and getting a fistula. Then, when my kidney function slipped down to a certain point, I started dialysis, which was more of a crisis... and yet, I did what I needed to do to cope with that crisis. I started this blog, got involved with organizing a newsletter for the dialysis center, and integrated dialysis three times a week into my work and life style. I began to develop an revised and more conscious perspective about life, work, and the inevitable aging of this body. Its been my experience that people with some sort of malady have an opportunity to empathize with their medical situation and thereby intuit (or grok) something of the external world in a way that can be foggy to people who have not had to consider their impermanence in the world.
About the time I got comfortable with dialysis, I got the call that I forgot to stay anxious about receiving. It was on a Monday morning and Liz and I had to make an almost immediate decision about going in for transplant surgery in the next couple hours. Talk about a crisis! (You can read from the beginning of Part 2 about the transplant and notice that the lack of many posts indicates this period has been pretty "healthy" and normal.
Today I live in a sci-fi reality where we (who are older that 70, immunosuppressed, transplanted, and with liver disease) can't go outside without worrying about infection. This return to health anxiety added to the fear of succumbing to COVID-19 increases our hyper-conscious state and has me, at least, balancing daily apprehension and gratitude. These personal musings relate to the state of the nation in relation to this virus as well.
I am also of the notion that the coronavirus and the United States' neglectful part in stopping (and now perhaps even slowing) it, may actually have some socio-geologic influence on ending a major epoch (the Holocene) and perhaps escorting us into the Anthropocene epoch. In the matter of a very short period of time we as a nation of people that is part of the world population are forced by a virus into social isolation. If, as I believe, the eradication of of COVID-19 takes as much longer as "flattening the curve" may take, we could see major changes in cleaning up the environment. Simply stated, keeping people out of swarming the planet, polluting the water and pushing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, can slow the weather changes that are so worrisome.
The question is how the public will adjust to all the changes that remain after the coronavirus pandemic is over? Our return to the world we distanced ourselves from a few weeks ago may be as challenging as coping with the world we are trapped in today.
has added to people's mistrust and confusion about what is accurate and real. Are there enough tests? Is it safe for folks to begin going out into the now empty world? Will the pandemic level off with relaxing the Stay Home recommendations? 
