13) I hate Change

Saturday

Synopsis Since Thursday: Liz and I discussed possibly changing to an early morning dialysis session. Kim (my boss) and I discussed the possible change. Theresa (my ED) and I discussed the possible change. Should I change? Should I stick with the way things are? Will the change be better for home? Will it be better for work? Will it be better for me? For Liz? For Shayna? What will be the benefit of changing my dialysis schedule? (According to the I Ching*, Decline [36] changing to Grace [22]). "Arghhhhhh!"

"I HATE CHANGE!" Change used to be cool, exciting, new & different, mysterious, adventuresome, and fun. But that was 35 years ago when I was a vagabond minstrel of “the Age of Aquarius” and the exploration of inner space, the final frontier, was our 5 year mission; to explore strange new worlds, create new tribes, and boldly go where no straight person had gone before. But now I’m way retired and love the stability of my little job and my little home and my little family. I’m like a hairy-footed hobbit, happy in my little hobbit house. “No need to change anything” says my fuzzy brain.

Back to reality: Even though we say in systems thought that 'change is constant', I don’t have to like it! So even the change of schedule of my dialysis is a problem for my fuzzy brain. I have to think about all the pro’s and con’s of it. If I change, it’ll be better for my work (Kim & I figured out), since I will have more ability to travel out of town. It’ll be nicer at home cause I can always be here in the early evening hours for dinner and family time (although Liz & I both know that is no guarantee we’ll eat before 8 anyway). On the down side, what about those times when Liz is out of town and I have to get Shayna to school? It’s much easier to get help with picking Shayna up in the afternoon than dropping her off in the morning. And, of course there is the consideration: do I really want to get up at 4:45 am three days a week? I got up at 5:30 for all the years my son had to catch a bus to his school across town and actually liked it! Maybe I’ll like it again.

El Milagro: Rosie cannulated me again today, again without much pain. The place was busier than usual, so I couldn’t come in until noon. I talked to Phyllis about my thoughts about changing to the early session and she offered that on those occasions when I can’t come in early, it is always easier to switch to a late session than it is to switch from a late session to an early session. That convinced me and I told her to move my name (on the big board) to the early session. She replied that I’ll start next Tuesday.

Data Notes: In @ 73.5 Kg and out @ 70.7 Kg.

*Wing, R. L. (2001) The I Ching workbook. New York: Broadway Books.