147) Can we talk?

July 21, 2007

El Milagro:
About an hour ago Phyllis the Nurse said I could come in early, so here I am at 1:45, all hooked up and ready to go. Eloy stuck me as we reminisced about old Austin versus new Austin. Now we have the Austin City Limits Festival. We used to have the Aqua Festival with skipper pins, three stages of bands, the water parade, and the horseshoe tournament. Eloy’s cannulation job looks like a mess of crossed tubes, and he had to redo one cause it was laying on top of the vein. After finishing his artwork, Eloy stood there watching the machine while we talked.

As I look outside right now I see the back of my truck in the downpour and wonder if I’ll be able to mow the lawn this weekend. I’m listening to KUT’s Further Adventure of Folkways; Kellie Willis’ new CD… great sounds. She sings, “I can’t remember the last time I felt so weak…. You’re just a stone’s throw away… (steel guitar bit) …and God knows I want to fall in your arms…”

So…, yesterday I went out to lunch (yes, me) with two lovely women and one of them said, “I read your blog, but I wish you’d put more personal stuff in it…”, and the other one agrees. “Yeah! That’s what I always tell him too.” I respond with an author’s poetic prerogative prattle. I leaned into the table and gave them a raspberry. “THBPPBPTH!!” …. Well, actually it was probably something dumber, like “Well, the intent is to tell about dialysis, not to be a soap opera”. And yet, since then I’ve been thinking more about their feedback. They are, as it happens, a representation of the readership. And I always claim to be ‘client-centered’… so, who am I to say, “THBPPBPTH!!” to the users? Is this blog for me or for the reader?

Well, I must admit it is at least partly for ME. I write it and I read it and I change it (after mine and Liz’s edits). And I put in the pics that interest me. It is MY contribution, at least at this point in time, to the Nowicki Family Writings. I don’t think theses, dissertations (Michael), and academic articles count, although my dad probably counts Michael’s textbook. “Is this more personal?” I asked myself while appreciating the fiddle licks from Truth # 2 off the Dixie ChicksHome… in my earphones.

Now, about making this blog ‘more personal’. What would ‘more personal’ be? Do they want to hear more about the puppy? They are dog women and we spend time at lunch discussing good homemade dog food recipes… since the Chinese are bent on poisoning our pets. Is it more personal when my West Texas innards screams out, “Those damn ___"(insert your own PC label here)? ‘More personal’? Hmm. I’m sure they don’t want me to write about running naked throughout the house with my bride…. NOPE! I’m pretty sure that’s not what they mean by ‘more personal’. Stuff about kids and family maybe? They both already know more than you, dear reader, so that can’t be it either. Now the Austin Lounge Lizards are crooning, “I want to ride in… the car Hank died in” so I hafta break away from this post to sway to this wailing waltz.

An Idea: Maybe they want to hear about the ‘more personal’ side of Jack’s experiences of dialysis. I have meant to report on two very personal topics for over a year now and not taken the leap because no one has asked for it and I’ve been waiting for the ‘right’ time. Maybe theirs is the ‘more personal’ request I need to devote a post to bodily functions. Being on dialysis has huge impact on urination and taking binders for phosphorous impacts defecation! Would posting about peeing and pooping be 'personal’ enough? I promise to pen a post about pee and poop pretty soon.

Just now I’m pulled from my present pee and poop pronouncement by a pained patient yelling “Help me. Help me”. I look around and notice he is the guy a few chairs down from me and Eloy has looked up from his work to check on him but doesn’t jump to his assistance. “Arrrghhhuh”, the man wails and staff seem to ignore him, and I wonder what that’s all about. Finally Kim the Nurse goes over to him and diddles with his machine and documents on the “Chair Side Snappy” (the cutesy name El Milagro’s has given to the newish computers that track the dialysis machines, two at a time. I hear the name is supposed to call out to staff who are a little computer shy. It calls out to me, "We are the goofuses"). Anyway, as I’m watching them watching him, I might mention that there’s a new tech trainee drifting around this place who is not at all hard on the eyes, in her fitted baby blue med suit. Is that ‘more personal’?

I must continue to consider this idea of getting ‘more personal’. I could maybe write about being a cheapskate. Or, my thoughts on philosophy or cheescake. Or maybe introduce politics. Nah! Too depressing. Politics is one of the few things that is more depressing than kidney disease. Or how about my musings about Art? (Art is A+R+T according to a paper written by AJH, circa 1970) Or, getting really personal: sharing all the places I’d rather be…. like sailing into Friendship Bay on Bequia*, sipping a Hairoon Bitter Lemon soda.... Ah yes! That would be the ‘personal’ stuff.

Actually, I’ll probably just add my ‘more personal’ musings on dialysis and my continued adjustment to this stage of life on the planet. Adios for now.

Notes: In at 73.7 and out at 72.1 Kgs.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
* St. Vincent & the Grenadines retrieved online July 2007 from http://www.svgtourism.com/

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