172) Not a Good Day at All

September 29, 2007

Morning: The Kick Kats (Shayna’s soccer team) lost to the Blue Crush this morning… Shayna playing with a sore ankle. We’re home now and the Kats are a little down… they don’t like losing any more than the parents. Actually, they won the first half and then the Crush got a few lucky breaks and that motivated them to just wipe us out, 5 to 1. Darn! Shayna played well for the most part; on defense the first half and forward and midfield for second half.

While the girls were warming up I read a Statesman article on Willie’s sister, Bobbie and her new CD, Audiobiography*. It amazes me that these two have been playing music together for 70 years now! That’s a long time!

El Milagro: Today I am able to come in for dialysis at 1. I weigh in at 74.0 kgs. And pass out flyers about the PAC meeting next Wednesday evening to the patients who are awake. Some of them have seen the flyer and some haven’t. Then I go to my chair and Carol the Tech cannulates me and tells me about her back pain: she thinks she has a squished cushion between her spinal discs and the vicodin doesn’t work anymore… that’s not good. I don’t really know what to say to her, so I make a grimace and nod my head in agreement and finally say something like its time to visit the doctor again if the medications aren’t helping. The pre-game show is already on the TV so I watch it and don’t really think about Shayna’s birthday party that I’m missing at the wall climbing and put putting place. Her girlfriends and her cousins are up there and I’ll see the giggly girl later at the slumber party.

So, anyway, I settle in to watching the pre-game and then the game itself while my blood is getting cleamed. Phyllis the Nurse listens to my vitals and later leaves. Jo the Nurse takes over for Phyllis and stops by to say “Hi”. Amanda the Tech and Jason the Tech are both here and say hello too. All is going well except that Kansas State scores first. But then UT scores and the game kinda goes back and forth for awhile. Then they score again and we go into half time at 14 to 7, if I remember correctly.

During the second half I have a little crisis, so its hard to remember exactly what was happening in the game. I started getting a foot cramp in my right foot so I slipped off my sandal and started massaging my foot. Within about five minutes my calf was cramping so I was trying to bend my foot up and down while massaging my foot and cursing to myself about having to focus on feet instead of foot(ball). Of course, I don’t want to complain, so I wiggle around massaging my thigh, bending my foot up and down, and rubbing the tendon on the bottom of my foot. Well, that works and I settle back into watching the game for a few minutes and then my left foot and leg start acting up. Damn! While my right foot I’m able to bend, the cramp in my left foot bends my toes down like a ballet stance and I can’t move them back up either by command or by trying to bend them with both my hands. And, of course, then the right foot goes haywire again… now I have both legs cramping and I am having a difficult time not wincing and complaining. Jo is walking by so I report that I’m beginning to cramp and she gives me some more liquid thru the tubes. And she sets my chair up so I can try to press my feet against the floor to lessen the cramping.

As I’m stuggling to stay still and not jump up, rip my tubes out, and run around the place like a maniac, I check my demeanor and wonder a lot of things all at once. Does she think it’s not so bad since I’m quiet? Is this too early in my session to make any sense? Did they just score again? I wish I could describe the pain, I think… “Its much like a cramping feeling… and you loose voluntary control of moving your legs or feet… and it kinda feels like someone has put a hot poker into your muscle and then twisting it like a cork-screw… getting tighter and tighter and more painful every minute until you want to scream.” I listen to myself and know that when I scream it’ll be a public sign that I am a wimp. So I keep trying to not show any outward sign of pain while I do want Jo to do something. She turns my dialysis off temporarily and I begin to feel better and then she turns it back on with the extra liquid and I seem to be better. But now I feel clammy with tingly lips and I know my BP is falling. The first time it is 80 over 65 and then it is 110 over 49… it is going nuts too. I’m feeling faint… so, I put my chair back in the reclining position, close my eyes and focus on continuing to wiggle my feet. I feel spent… its been about 10 minutes and I finally relax a little and fall asleep! During the clobbering UT is getting from KSU! I wake up again and it’s in the 4th quarter and the score is 41 to 21. What a terrible game. What a terrible time in dialysis. I watch the final minutes and Jason and I wonder if the team was worried about next week’s OU game. At least OU lost too today… to CSU. Doesn’t really make me feel better… I’m ready to go home and crawl into bed and not get up until tomorrow.

Oh Yeah. We have a slumber party tonight. So it goes.

Notes: In at 74.0 and out at 73.7 kgs.
* Audiobiography. Bobbie Nelson. Retrieved online September 2007 from AMG website, http://wm01.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:wifexzthldke
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