8) Of Cybernetics, Morphic Fields, & AV Fistulas

Saturday

On Saturdays I am supposed to call in to the center in the morning to see if they can fit me in early. Today I called and Kim answered the phone. I identified myself and she asked when I’d like to come in. I replied, “10:30” and I heard Phyllis in the background saying “11. Tell him he’s got a deal for 11.”. I like this idea of flexibility on the weekend. Today I’ll get outa there by 3 in the afternoon!

On another note, I got an email from my friend Martha on the 2nd. In response to my blog, she said, “I’m sending you loads of Light and will check your blog often”. The more people that know of my situation, the more people there are hoping, praying, visualizing, and desiring my healing and continuation in life. This is a good reason to write this blog and be open and loquacious about my dis-ease and my medical situation. I have friends who, when we get together, we share our health progress and regress with each other as a matter of friendship. However, some people want to keep their medical situations private and are reluctant to discuss them with anyone else. I also have friends like that. They have their health conditions and won’t discuss them openly for some reason that I don’t really comprehend. It may be that they simply don’t see our friendship as being close enough to share those things. Or, they may be in some form of denial.

In my trainings I frequently say “Denial is a river in Egypt!” (allegedly from Mark Twain) to suggest that denial doesn’t really exist. It’s preferable for us to think of it as ‘suppression’, because suppression is a choice of the beholder. When people choose to put information about their situation out into the world, it helps them to accept their situation as well as to receive support and focused healing energy from their friends (system) and humanity (larger system).

When we understand ‘humanity’ as a system, and we apply concepts from cybernetics, like recursion (reciprocal causality), autopoiesis (self-generation), and morpogenisis (growth of the system), we find that the larger system influences the individual just as the individual impacts the larger system (see Ray Becvar’s books*). In the larger system there is a collective memory which we, as humans can ‘tune in’ to. This collective memory exists as morphic fields according to Rupert Sheldrake**. These morphic fields are “non-material regions of influence extending in space and continuing in time. They are localized within and around the systems they organize”. So, the information we put out into the world (larger system) about our health situation is available for human consumption and consideration (hope, prayer, visualizing, creation, etc.) and these considerations recursively influence the morphic fields such that they have a postive resonance (impact) on all parts of the individual system.

That’s the way I see it! Thanks Martha for sending in the Light.

* Becvar, D.S. & R.J. (1982) Systems theory & family therapy: A primer. University Press of America: Lanham, MD.
** Sheldrake, R. (1988) The presence of the past: Morphic resonance and the habits of nature. Times Books: New York.

El Milagro: James hooked me up this morning and it was interesting to see how each new tech that prepares me has their own way of doing this process. I mentioned to James that I think I am supposed to still be on small needles (he checked the chart and agreed) so he decided to use size 17 needles. He explained that they use smaller needles until my fistula toughens up. He also set a tourniquet because my vein seemed to be on the verge of collapsing today (who knows why that happens?).

Today I am seated on the periphery of the pattern of chairs, in a corner where it appears they decided at some point to put an extra chair to get just one more person into the mix. This chair faces the back of the nurses command center; so I can see what they are doing behind the desk. When I was a kid, I always used to wonder how life was behind the counter when I went into stores, restaurants, and other facilities. Now I feel a bit of nostalgic excitement at the chance to see behind the counter. Behind the counter right now are four nurses (Phyllis, Ron, Connie, and Kim). Kim is transferring info from patient’s daily logs onto a computer. Ron seems to be preparing doses of the various injections patients machines get during their dialysis. He fills the hypodermic needles, checks them carefully against a form, ensures they have no air in them, and then puts them in a rack to be distributed around the center. Only the nurses give these shots to the tubes connected to the patients. According to Connie, the shots I get each time are Venofor (iron), Epogen (Procrit), and Zemplar (for my bones).

Throughout my session today, my machine frequently beeped crazily and someone had to come quell the beeping and adjust the flow rate to keep my vein from collapsing. After several attempts by Tori at readjusting the needle from my fistula to the machine. Tori shared with me that James should have used size 16 needles, which are the ones I formerly used before Tori gave me size 15 last time. He concluded that I should tell the tech to use size 16 for the time being. Finally Connie solved the flow problem by putting extra gauze under the needle to push it down into the middle of the vein because she thought it was resting against the inside wall of the vein, thus interrupting good blood flow. There were no further difficulties and I got out of there by 4:15 pm.

Data Notes: I weighed in at 72.3 Kg. and out at 70.6 Kg. (1Kg. = 2.2 lbs.).

Definitions: I think I offered several posts ago to put in some information about my fistula that buzzes for the uninitiated who touch it.

AV fistula*:

AV (arteriovenous) fistulas are recognized as the preferred access method. To create a fistula, a vascular surgeon joins an artery and a vein together through anastomosis. Since this bypasses the capillaries, blood flows at a very high rate through the fistula. One can feel this by placing one's finger over a mature fistula. This is called feeling for "thrill", and feels like a distinct 'buzzing' feeling over the fistula. Fistulas are usually created in the non-dominant arm, and may be situated on the hand (the 'snuffbox' fistula'), the forearm (usually a radiocephalic fistula, in which the radial artery is anastomosed to the cephalic vein) or the elbow (usually a brachiocephalic fistula, where the brachial artery is anastomosed to the cephalic vein). A fistula will take a number of weeks to mature, on average perhaps 4-6 weeks. During treatment, two needles are inserted into the fistula in opposite directions, one to draw blood and one to return it.

The advantages of AV fistula use are lower infection rates,as there is no foreign material involved in their formation, higher blood flow rates (which translates to more effective dialysis), and a lower incidence of thrombosis. The complications are few, but if a fistula has a very high flow in it, and the vasculature that supplies the rest of the limb is poor, then a steal syndrome can occur, where blood entering the limb is drawn into the fistula and returned back to the general circulation without entering the capillaries of the limb. This results in cold extremities of that limb, cramping pains, and if severe, tissue damage.

* Answers.com (2006) Retrieved online May 7th from http://www.answers.com/topic/hemodialysis?hl=fistula&hl=vein