232) El Nacho Malo

April 5, 2008

Morning: I just have to record my recent foray into the world of bean nachos. Last night, after the Kick Kats beat the Lava Jets 7 to nothing, several of the mom’s decided that it was a Friday night get a drink night so we all headed to Seranno’s after the game. Of course, we arrived right at one of their busiest times and tried to find spaces for the 12 team members and about 14 parents. While we got on the list for a table for 20, most of us gathered on a long high table that traverses the bar and ordered our margaritas and chips. Finally, they set up a large table in the back room and then the mom’s found a booth to gather in, and one other dad and I chaperoned the 15 kids, including the whole team and several older and younger sibs.

For one thing, Serrano’s wouldn’t have been my choice for places to go since there isn’t much on the menu that I can eat. But, what can I say to a bunch of moms bent planning where to go for a whole team. So, I look at the menu for awhile and decide to get nachos. Why? Well, all the enchiladas are completely inappropriate. Even their green enchiladas with chicken are smothered with cheese, which doesn’t work, or even sound good to me tonight. "Tacos?" None sound good either. "Taco Salad?" Nope. So, I finally decide that bean and cheese nachos are an 'appetizer' and therefore ‘smaller’ than a full dinner. And, I can swipe off some of the cheese and beans, and the corn tortillas, although not great for me, are something I eat regularly and therefore "okay" in my dysfunctional brain.

So, since Liz is in the other room with the girls, I go ahead and order a plate of bean nachos, telling myself that I’ll take my binders right afterwards and all will be "okay". What I realize now (the next morning) is that I should also have been thinking about the nachos + binders + time + pooping equation at the time of ordering. This is a tip for all of you out there who are on dialysis and need to pay attention to what you eat.

Diet TIP: When you are thinking of ordering food (Kp), picture it binding (Vc) with your binders and moving (Kp) through your intestines and bowels and then feel it (K-) coming out the other end. Then make your choice of what to order.
[CUE --> Kp --> Vc --> Kp --> K- = Choose?]

This is, of course, is derived from the famous NLP Naturally Slender Eating Strategy, and will differ based on your own decision-making strategies. In general, the naturally slender eating strategy is cued by thinking about eating… for example, looking at a menu in the restaurant.
1. You check how your stomach feels right now (Kp)
2. You ask yourself, “What would feel good in my stomach?” (Ad)
3. See an option (create or remember) (V c/r)
4. “How would this feel in your stomach over time?” (G/Kp --> K+/K-)
5. Eat whatever will feel best in your stomach over time (1+ hr, 2+ hr, etc.), as long as it feels better than your stomach feels now.
6. CUE --> Kp --> Ad --> Vc/r --> [K+ or K-] = Choose? *

But no, I don’t really follow my tip at the time, which is why I am posting this tip today. I eat those bean and cheese nachos… along with about 20 delicious jalapeƱos and am just as happy as a clam afterwards.

Flash forward to 2 am, when the binders and bowels have worked and I am awakened with a bodily signal to go sit on the toilet. A word about binders: we eat stuff and then we take our binders (I take 1/2 a Fosrenol chewable, 3 PhosLo’s, and 2 Sensipars after the evening meal) which “bind” with the phosphorous and potassium in the food we just ate, and move that binded material on through the intestine and bowels so it doesn’t get ingested into the system where the kidney can no longer process it. Once binded and moved through, of course the material comes out in a bowel movement, which I refer to as poop. The consistency and frequency of passing the poop has to do with the amount of binded material and, I think, also the flagrancy of our breaking our dietary rules. In other words, the worse we eat, the worse our experience of pooping. So, here I sit at 2 am and at 5 am emptying my bowels of material binded from the tasty bean and cheese nachos with the 20 delicious jalapeƱos.

El Milagro: I had called in late to get a time; after we all (including Chelsea the Dog and Calla the Flower) went to the farmer’s market to buy organic doggie treats, blackberry peach jam (Yum Yum) and a columbine plant for the back hillside. Jason the Tech said I can come in at 3:15 pm.

I arrive at 3:15 and they have me in the back corner today. I say “Hi” to Margaret the Nurse who is playing with my machine as I walk up and she gives her normal “Hmmpf” and the old stone face that always makes me wonder what is up with her.

Amanda the Tech is here and we discuss school and summer plans while she sticks me. She is taking the summer off from school and gonna work full time, which will brighten this place up immeasurably. Today I can tell she has increased her confidence at sticking people, like me, for instance… an 8.5 on the old 10 point scale. She says “thanks for the feedback” in her blondie blushing way and I share with her some of our own summer plans. I think of my own daughter, Katie, and wonder what she would be like as a Tech… weird thought…

I am listening to the end of Folkways on KUT and they are in their fundraiser pledge drive and Tom Pittman (Austin Lounge Lizards) announces a pledge from Plano, Tx! They listen on the net and are sending in a pledge… cool! Us dyed in the wool partners of KUT even listen during pledge drive to see who is pledging (heard Bobbie and Theresa this morning)… we are hopeless radio heads.

Suddenly I notice a shrill siren sounding alarm and see Jason the Tech sprint across the room and into the back. We have Water Problems! Then J the T returns and talks on the phone to someone (the water guy?) and then comes around and adjusts everyone’s machine, telling me my alarm will go off again. Now he is back on the phone while inspecting some sort of manual.

Now machine is beeping to tell us “there is no water you guys” and the staff comes by about three times before I ask them to show me how to turn off the beeper myself. Aha… I finally get my machine training… en vivo. Gladys the Major Tech comes by soon and reports that the water is off and they don’t know why but the Water Guy is on his way. Even though all these machines keep beeping their water notices, I have my A+ earphones on, now listening to ATC, so I am not bugged by the whole scene.

So, the water guy gets here and talks to Jo the Nurse, telling her it is broken and she must “return” everyone. That means, return the blood that is in the machine. Before they get to us in the back corner, the H2O guy pops back out saying he replaced a filter and it is gonna work again… so everyone gets turned back on.

I’m watching the Santa Anita Derby by now. El Gato Malo; Colonel John; Meeting with Destiny… they’re all there in their finery. The short term race has Colonel John come around the far corner, move to the outside, and just zoom by five others to take the win by almost a half a body. No matter how ADD one is, you can’t get bored with a two minute horse race.

Jo comes up and reports we’re doing fine again, but by now I’ve noticed my normal wash (rinse) isn’t there and mention it to her… she apologizes, saying they are out of my rinse, so I have no rinse today. Well, you know what that means…

So, we’re on to the Final Four and again entering basketball heaven… I want Memphis to beat the Hell out of UCLA, since Memphis beat us they should show themselves to be more than anyone else can handle. If they beat UCLA then somehow I will feel better about them beating UT, since we beat UCLA earlier in the season.

Is it a case of the placebo effect or are my calves really both simultaneously cramping? The calves think it is real cramps. My brain is trying to convince my body that it is like an oppositive placebo thingie… I don’t have the rinse so I fool myself into getting cramps… and in a few minutes my leg pain convinces my brain that it just doesn’t matter (it just doesn’t matter!)… let’s yell at Amanda. She comes over and gives me some liquid, then helps me stand up and put some weight on my calves… which, after about 4 painful minutes, begins to work and I sit back down. When cramps are over I find myself feeling so happy usually… and a bit worn from the pain. Within a very few minutes of getting back to a comfy TV watching stance, my time is up. Memphis has won and I rush home to watch Kansas and North Carolina. I want our Big 12 champ to beat NC, btw.

Notes: In at 76.3 and out at 74.9 Kgs.
* NLP Practitioner Notes (1986) © Unpublished Manuscript from NLP of Colorado. Day 14, p.4
New Readers: For an INDEX, click January 2008 on the Sidebar and page down to post # 207.

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