289) Its Finally Fall

October 18, 2008
Saturday

Morning: We're up early for Shayna's soccer game against the Fireballs at 8 am. A brisk morning temperature of 60 brought us out in levi's and jackets for the first time this fall. Winds were from the northwest at about 3 to 5... just enough for a chill... my coffee cooled off too fast on the field. By half time the kats were up by 4 and coach Charlie was not happy; saying that they had not played the first half like they usually play and he wanted them to play like it is a real game the second half. This pic is of Coach Charlie figuring out the second half roster just after his little speech to the girls. They are heading back to their bench... Shayna waving "hi". They came out and played a livelier second half and at the end the score was 11 to 1! Because of a schedule change, the kats play again tomorrow out at Lake Travis. We celebrated by stopping by the Donut & Taco Palace for breakfast tacos.

El Milagro: Ann the nurse calls and we agree that I'll come in at 1:30, which woulda happened had I not been overwhelmed by the beautiful weather and my usual habit of driving to work; these are crystal clear skies and I can't wait to see the view of Austin's skyline from the top of the MoPac Flyway. It is like a postcard! So, anyway, right at the top of the flyway a little voice in my brain needles me: "Psst. We're really supposed to be down on the Ben White part of the roadway buddie." This realization did not interrupt my enjoyment of the view, but it did cost about 5 minutes of time in my trip to dialysis.

And, of course, my chair isn't ready when I arrive, although it is only about a 5 minute wait so I sit and start reading an article on SFBT with Survivors of Suicide. My chair is in the front corner that used to be my favorite corner back when I was studying the staff and their movements around here. Ann the Nurse does my cannulation and my nursing eval and I am emmersed in Folkways: playing now --> Rise & Fall of Intelligent Design - Rodney Crowell @ 2:45 pm.*

I'm finishing the journal article and another one I find in my bag from last session: a chapter from Insoo and Yvonne's book, Tales of Solutions. Reading and listening: now playing the Austin Lounge Lizards' Ain't Gonna Rain... and Jason the Tech starts coming by and checking my machine and we discuss briefly tonight's game with Mizzou. Also, Connie the Nurse is here today and she eventually pulls up a rolling stool and sits for awhile catching up on her life and her son's adjustment to 5th grade. She is happy as a lark about son and life and that is good to see... although she always seems to be on the brighter side of life.

Now playing Bob Dylan's Baby Let Me Follow You down from his first album... and now now following with his rendition with the Band, Forever Young/Baby Let Me Follow You Down from The Last Waltz. What great music... and since it is pledge drive*, I sit here planning to pledge (we pledge once a year in the fall). And then I hear that someone has challenged listeners with "if 30 people pledge before the end of Folkways" they'll give an extra $500 and also, right now until 4 people who pledge at our rate also will get the new Band of Heathens CD. "Wait!" I say to myself... "I have a cell phone!" So I pull it out, turn it on, and dial 471-6291 and renew our membership.

The ATC show starts and I listen to the news portion and then decide I don't need more of this and start channel surfing until I find STAR TREK Nemisis!** and it hooks me, as Jean Luc Piccard and Data always do. I happily watch until Jason comes to check on me and interrupts my immersion with the notice that my BP is 80 over 50 something. How do I feel? Just dandy... and relaxed... okay... Jason readjusts my BP cuff and checks it again. I report that I'll concentrate on pulling it up and he leaves and I watch Piccard in a mental wrestling match with Shinzon. Jason comes back at the end of my time and my BP is up aways... he has me stand and it is just under 100 so he asks me to just sit awhile... which I am happy to do because of the exciting conclusion of the movie is happening right now. The movie ends and my BP is up to 110 over 60 something and I shoot outa there to rush home to see UT's home game against Missouri. What a life.

Notes: In at 76.4 and out at 74.4 kgs.
*Pledge NOW at https://secure2.convio.net/kut/site/Donation2?df_id=1601&1601.donation=form1
** Star Trek Nemesis retrieved online from AMG: http://www.allmovie.com/cg/avg.dll?p=avg&sql=1:266560

288) Another Day At the Salt Mines

October 14, 2008
Tuesday

El Milagro: Here on time today. Jo Ann the Tech has me in the back corner today... and it seems they are low staffed... I only see two people per side. Jo Ann quickly pokes me and is on her way. Celeste the Nurse comes over and does my nursing eval and I report to her about needing to reschedule my 10/25 session to 10/27 if possible due to being in San Antonio on the 25th. She says I need to talk to Jay the Boss Nurse, who'll be here tomorrow.

I read my Berg chapter for Thursday's class, listen to ATC and about the time I'm done Dr. Venkatesh comes by for her doctor's visit. As I've reported before, she takes more time with each person and is a hundred times more professional than Rowder was: she carefully reviews each person's binder, bows closer over them to talk to them quietly, asks each person questions and seems to genuinely care about the short conversation. I can no longer call these things "drive bys".

I turn on the ABC News at 5:30 and hear all about the economy's upward surge, the campaign's boring continuance, and other "big" news. I drift off into sleepy land for awhile...

And wake up sometime later to some dumb show... channel surf around until I find an old movie on TCM and drift through it until time to leave. Another day at the salt mines.

Notes: In at 77.6 and out at 74.5 kgs.

287) TEXAS BEATS OKLAHOMA ~ OH YEAH!

October 10, 2008
Saturday

On the Road to El Milagro: I called at 11 this morning and can come in at noon; come in at noon to see the game with no interruptions. I had thought we could have a game party at home... and then Shayna split and Liz is wandering around doing chores and talking on the phone and there won't be any clam dip... so, I am off to dialysis for quietude for watching the game! On the way over I am listening to the game on AM radio and hear the roar behind Shipley running back a kickoff for a TD!

El Milagro: When I arrive and enter the waiting room there are 6 waiters in burnt orange t-shirts screaming at the TV at every good play. All the chairs facing the TV are full so I just stand there watching too... until a commercial... and someone tells me the door is open. I walk in and remember to weigh myself and find my chair on the back wall. Ann the Nurse comes over and sticks me fairly well and I don't really care cause my whole consciousness is on the TV screen watching the 92 thousand red and orange blur in the expanded Cotton Bowl. Ann comes back and does my nursing eval and makes positive comments about the game which I don't really hear thru my headphones. I do notice that almost all the TV's are on the game and there is usually a cheer in the center when something advantageous to Texas happens. There are about 15 burnt orange t-shirts in here too... and I am wearing my "What Starts Here Changes the World" t-shirt.

I watch the game and can't really write at the same time... Texas scores and OU scores and they are ahead and we catch up and then they get ahead again and we are playing really good even without the needed running game... and we catch up and by half time we are only down by one point! Against #1 OU that is great!

Later: WE WON THE GAME! Wow. Texas kept up, wore OU down and then, when Stoops had to resort to some dirty football, Texas got ahead and never looked back. OU isn't used to being behind and their boys just get mean and nasty when they do (seems like to me after watching OU football for 30 years now). And Colt's Longhorns are so motivated to win that whenever they are losing they play 110% to catch up. The offensive line was really tough today and the defense played their best game to date. What a game! I can't wait to see the changes in the national standings.

So, the game is over and I am happy and the old woman beside me who is someone who has been here a long time is now coming in from the hospital and I wonder why she doesn't get dialyzed there cause she seems in no shape to be here. She is really weak, moaning in pain, and about fifteen minutes after starting she throws up all over herself and the chair and everything within five feet of her mouth... yellow and chunky. Rich the Tech comes over and stands in front of her with a look of disdain about her behavior, while Ann the Nurse comes and begins to care for her. Rich walks away like he is relieved to not have to act, and Ann asks him to get a toss-up tray which he takes his time getting. Ann cleans the lady up and Rich finally returns with a tray and sets it on the lady and backs off again. (Let me again say, I don't much care for Rich's manner or his behavior of only being of use when some other staff asks him directly to do something.) I later mention to Kim the Nurse and Rosie the Tech that I think that the woman is in pain and needing more attention and both of them, without breaking confidentiality, explain that she has recently had surgery and is heavily medicated for pain. I should ask why she is here rather than in the hospital, but don't want to get too involved. I can't ignore her pain though, and it makes our OU win a little less stimulating.

I don't want to watch more football, having had my thrill of the week... so I find an old movie on TCM; The Haunting* (1963) with Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, and Russ Tamblyn... and it takes my mind off my chair neighbor with her own horrors. This movie is really a good, old fashioned, horror movie; one of those that lets the scare develop in your brain and fantasies, rather than showing lots of blood and gore on the screen. I enjoy the flick and when it is over I am ready to go home.

Kim the Nurse unhooks me and I say a quiet "god speed" to the sick woman whose eyes are only slits of pained consciousness. I can't tell if she hears or gets my message as I walk by.

Notes: In at 76.8 Kgs. and out at 74.4 Kgs.
For an Index of this Blog, click January 2008 on the Side box and page down to #207.
* The Haunting, retrieved online October 2008 from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Haunting_(1963_film)

286) Rosh Hashanah

September 30, 2008
Saturday

El Milagro: I get Celeste the Nurse to let me in after I knock on the door... it's about 4:15 so I am the only person waiting. My chair is in the Corner and Rich the Talky Tech is here to stick me and report on getting married, going to Galveston for two weeks as a National Guardsman medic, and his plans to take a 10 week course at A&M to become an EMT. "Its much faster than the 2 year class at ACC" and I know better than to ask him if he knows why.

I have reading to do for my own class! Amanda the Tech stops by to say "Hi" as does Celeste the Nurse, who completes my nursing eval... and tells me about befriending her Muslim neighbor after I explain that my tummy grumbles are probably from the huge, tasty, Rosh Hashanah lunch I just had at Cari & Stuart's. She uses that cultural story to open about Ramadan being at the same time now as Rosh Hashanah.

I read my deShazer & Dolan until 5:30 and watch ABC News. (Don't get me started on the News!) I say to myself as I am writing. So, there's really nothing else to say.

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Oh yeah... Rosh Hashanah. Services this morning were an Austin news-maker*; Kol Halev having their services in South Austin at St. Edwards University, that citadel of South Austin liberal Catholicism, and, according to Rabbi Kerry Baker's interview in the Statesman, entering into this collaboration with St. Ed's also "offers renewal for Jews. It's about renewing ourselves spiritually and emotionally and psychologically, ...getting back in touch with who we are and getting renewed. ... It's important to get a sense of being recharged, refilled with energy and purpose." There are at least a hundred Jewish students at St. Ed's and I was watching out for one of them at services to say "thanks" but didn't find one. Walking across campus last night on my way to services I got the impression that this small university is a safe haven against the new world: there was a large group of students playing capture the flag around the main tower and it reminded me of boy scouts in El Paso. Also, as I walk 'cross' the idyllic campus I remember my old friend Terry Smith going to St Ed's many years ago and wondered how it was back then. College kids playing capture the flag! I wanna play too.

After morning services we go to Cari & Stuart's for luncheon (as usual), this year with Johnny, who attended services with us. At Cari & Stuarts we have a great lunch and Johnny discovers he loves Cari's gefilte fish cakes! L'Shana Tova!

Notes:
* Flynn, E.E. (2008) Jewish congregation reaching out to South Austin. Retrieved online October 2008 from the Austin American Statesman website at
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/09/29/0929holydays.html

285) Life's a Blur

September 27, 2008
Saturday

At Home: Liz and I get up around 8 cause we don't want to disturb the six girls (a number limited by parents ahead of time, since Shayna wanted at least ten) lined up on the living room floor all sleeping off their slumber party. Last nite they went ice skating and my best pic of the nite is posted here. Two of the girls are awake by 8:30 and the rest roll out about 9 or so. I make coffee and Lizzie starts the big pancake breakfast for the herd.

I Call El Milagro and Jason the Tech checks and finds I can come in at 2:00 today, which will give me time to get all set up in time to see Texas beat Arkansas at 2:30!

El Milagro: I arrive at the facility and theres a bunch of folks waiting outside, with one of the guys who brings his mother knocking lightly on the locked door. I walk up and he says no one is around to open the door. I knock LOUDLY on the glass and Jason the Tech, from accros the room, hears it and comes over to open it. He pokes his head out, looks around the full room, and disappears back into the treatment room... pops back out a few seconds later and calls about four of us waiters in. I have modeled assertiveness for these waiters.

I remember to weigh myself today, which is probably a first. Usually I walk right past the in-floor weighing station... Jason points me to the back half of the room and Rosie the Tech shows me my chair. She comes over to poke me and we discuss the candidate's debate... she thinks it was pretty boring... and that Obama looked "more presidential" because he was cool as a cucumber whereas McCain looked like he had a chip on his shoulder, and didn't really look at Obama and was smirking! "Smirking? I didn't notice that. I was surprised that they really agreed about most everything and thought it was funny that Jim Lehrer had to goad them into talking to each other." I replied. I added, "I think the public wants these debates to be like wrestling...", to which Rosie quiped, "Yeah! Candidates mud wrestling would be great!" And, we both simultaneously said, "WAIT TIL NEXT FRIDAY. That's the one to see..."

Mary the Nurse comes over and does my nursing evaluation while I am listening to Folkways and waiting for the UT - Arkansas game. When the game comes on ABC I switch my earphones to the TV switcher and settle back to watch the game. Today I forgot my dialysis bag and as I am sitting there starting to freeze I remember I have a flannel shirt and some candy in my truck. I call Rosie over and ask if it is against the rules to send her out to my truck to get my candy... and she replies that she can get it... and does. Yeah Rosie! Now I am happy as a clam under my flannel shirt cozied up with a bag of hard candy, watching UT smear Arkansas. What a day.

The only bummer that I hear about during the game is that Paul Newman* died today. Newman was a mega-star mensch! Pure integrity. I loved watching him in films since I was a youth and he always was a character that dripped "cool". We will miss him. Speaking of stars, this weekend is the Austin City Limits Festival and hundreds of bands are all gathered to entertain about 65 thousand people a day. Makes me think of my friends Edna and Richard, who I always hope will come in from California and Utah for this... Edna cause she covers Music for USA Today and Richard cause ACL used to be his favorite show. ACL, UT football, Shayna's birthday, and Rosh Hashanah around the corner... keeping life on dialysis busy busy. So it goes on the planet.

Notes: In at 76.8 and out at 75.0 kgs.
* Howell,P. Paul Newman, 83, Acting legend, retrieved September 2008 online from thestar.com, http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/article/507744

284) Dieticians REVOLT!!

September 25, 2008
Thursday

El Milagro: Got here by 4:30 even tho I didn't get away from class until 4:15. Jo Ann (the Tech I don't know but finally asked her name) stuck me and did a good job and Rosie the Tech came by to adjust the machine to her own idea of what it should be... saying, "He comes off at 8:30!" Then she reset my machine while Jo Ann got my bath. Jordy the Dietician comes up with my lab report and she complains that my phosphorous is UP again... this time only to 5.9, which is only .4 over the high mark... (3.5 to 5.5 in OK) and we both agree that that is much better than the historic 7 it was recently. "But", she says, "What did you do to get it up... not take your binders... eat cheese?" I replied that I don't know and I don't really feel like racking my brain right now to figure it out... "I'll just be more careful again!" Jordy complains that everyone does great at the mid month labs and then does worse at the final month labs and 'they' "grade me on the ones people don't do well on!" I am surprised 'they' grade her at all on a variable that she has virtually little control over... and she says, "They DO!" #1 I share that we grade family counselors on what they do, not how the clients do because they really have no control over their clients and I would think that in the medical community would be even more difficult to rate a dietician on her patients' lab results.

And if they do, #2... they should rate them on the lab report that they have done most to impact, which is the Big Labs done at the beginning of the month. Those may be showing the dietician's work since they make signs, remind patients, and reward them for THOSE labs, not the end of month labs. So, it would make more sense, I think, for "them" to rate the dieticians on the Big Labs.

I call Jordy back over to tell her my thoughts on this deal and recommend she ask 'them' to start evaluating her on the basis of Big Labs... and cheer her on with a fist salute and a yell... "Dieticians REVOLT!!"

Today my radio is all fuzzy no matter how I set it and I still listen to the crackly fuzzy news until the ABC News comes on and I see Charlie inteview McCain and OBama both about the current financial crisis. As the news meanders on thru it's various stories, I am reading my next week's chapter in de Shazer & Dolan, about de Shazer's fascination with Wittgenstein's rambling philosophy and the connection he draws between it and SFBT... thinking to myself, "the students are gonna detest this reading...". And I read on... plowing thru the old references to theory construction, ontology, and pedagogy and the ways that de Shazer was influenced therein. I read some, consider some, drift off some and read some more...

And finally I decide it is time for some tube and I turn it on and lo and behold... there is the start of SURVIVOR GABON! WOW!! Synchronistically, I turn on the TV right at the beginning of the new Survivor... the first episode. So, of course I have to watch, if only to compare it to the past entertaining seasons and the boring ones. This one is in the middle of the jungle and the survivors include old and young and everything in-between... After Survivor I switch over to Grey's Anatomy and wonder if I'll get re-involved with this show this season... who knows?

So, Thursdays are back to TV nights for awhile... goodbye Wittgenstein hello Probst!* And, this Thursday my daughter is out right now with the family celebrating her 12th Birthday at Shady Grove... Happy Birthday Shayna!

Notes: In at 76.5 and out at 74.5 kgs.
*Jeff Probst on Survivor 17: retrieved online from Hollywood Insider
http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2008/05/jeff-probst-tal.html

283) The Bailout; or as Kim would say, "another boring post"

September 23, 2008
Tuesday

El Milagro: Arrive almost thirty minutes late today and sneak in as someone is leaving. Carrie the Tech directs me to the first chair inside the door, sets me up, and sticks me. "Quick and dirty" could describe it. I put new batteries in my radio without turning it on yet. All the news today is about Congress balking at the Bush Administrations new travesty; the $700 billion gift to Wall Street otherwise known as the bailout package.* It seems, however, that Bush has finally been able to create a nonpartisan congress... united against this overt reinforcement for bad behavior!

I am excited about reading my Walter & Peller on the "hypothetical solutions frame" and I wonder if these two were NLPers, since their language tracks NLP... like "frames" and "framing". They certainly are on the behavioral side of these language strategies, the other side of the continuum from Gilligan's "Crystal Rainbow Pattern"!

Turn on the radio now and they just did another story about "the bailout". Paulson said a year an a half ago that the whole thing would be okay and now we must sink 700 Billion in with no oversite protections for the deal and no financial punishment for the leaders of the dabacle. Paulson did nothing for ages and now the administration wants to do change immediatly and secretly and with no alternatives or options up for grabs. Sound familiar?

So, I turn off the radio again and go back to my book. Basically a studious evening and rushing home to see the season premier of Without A Trace.

Notes: In at 76.6 and out at 74.4 kgs

*Prins in Mother Jones, available online at http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2008/09/decoding-the-fed.html

282) 2008 Walk for PKD

September 20, 2008
Saturday

El Milagro: Got here right on time today, after participating in the 2008 Walk for PKD, which was practically across the street from us, at the Arbor Trails. Ran into Debbie the Blimpy Tech on my way in to the center... she is feeling good and excited about having her first baby at 26 in a couple weeks... around October first. I talk to her about calling La Leche League* when she delivers. Then I see Connie the Nurse and kid her about not being at the walk because she usually is at the walk... and she complains that she never heard about the walk... and I offer to show her my pics later when she has a minute.

I make my way to my chair on the back wall and Debbie sets up my BP (105/67), Rita the Nurse does my nursing eval, and Gladys the Tech does the poking. I turn my radio on and can't hear anything, finding out that the batteries are dead again... I have two in my bag and it takes three... two does nothing and, of course, I now don't know which two are the good ones. So, I stick em all to my tongue but they are too small to zing... so I just put the radio away and settle on missing Tom Pittman doing Folkways. DARN! I settle on no TV and leave my earphones on to blunt the sounds around me... and write this post.

The Morning PKD Walk Report: We arrived at the church without dog and signed in and I talked Sheila the Volunteer into a volunteer white t-shirt instead of the normal sea green shirt; arguing that I wear white t-shirts AND that is better advertising if I actually wear the shirt AND I am a team captain of a team that didn't collect any group money AND I like the polycsystic kidneys picture on the back of the shirt AND I can use it to show folks what my kidneys look like instead of describing them... AND I think that one won her over so she made me promise to act like a volunteer AND she gave me a white shirt! Liz quiped to no one in particular, as we walked away, "He gets things because he turns on the charm".

The girls talked me into driving back to the house to get Chelsea the Dog and Chelsea was really happy to come to the walk. Then I wandered around looking for donuts and surprisingly find Kirk and Aaron, who are working with TNOYS to develop our new data system and have already done our new version of the website (www.tnoys.org). They are here to support PKD because of relatives and because they worked on the PKD walk donation page this year. Kirk seemed surprised to see me here too and to find out I'm on dialysis as I am to find him connected to PKD. ¡It's EVERYWHERE! We talked briefly and then ended up doing the whole walk together; me discussing my adventure with PKD and dialysis and them collecting information and being friendly 'neighbors' during the walk. Chelsea the Dog was unusually well-behaved, possibly because of the crowd, and Shayna ran the course, of course, ending up third.

A highlight for me was walking with Kirk and talking about paired exchanges and Austin's not moving too fast in that direction ("too complicated", according to David the Transplant Social Worker) and hearing Kirks brain wheels, "start a non-profit to connect people up for sharing"... I am sure we'll talk further at some point.

We finished up the walk and Liz, Shayna, Chelsea, and I sat thru the awards and Liz tracked the silent auction for her things... and helped the silent auction volunteer take up the auction sheets. We ended up with some free passes Shayna can use for ice skating and a novel Liz wants to read. Liz ended up volunteering to work on the silent auction next year and I got a lapel pin for my suit.

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Gladys asks about the walk and I show her my pics and she remembers that she did the walk 3 years ago at Dell Center. I turn on the TV and catch Mike Barnes' Texas Tailgaters... we are weak on defensive backfield according to the Couch Coaches... and one of these guys predicts the 3 top Big 12 teams this year as Missou, OU, and Kansas! Where's TEXAS bud? How can you be at the Texas Tailgaters Show and NOT say TEXAS is BEST?!? What a dumb show! So, we're playing Rice tonight and I'll miss it cause I'm outa here early today. I surf...

Find a Bond movie with PB as Bond; The World is Not Enough (1999) and watch... then another movie with my girl Drew Barrymore... Ever After... and watch about 20 minutes before its time to unhook and move on. So it goes.

Notes: In at 76.5 and out at 74 kgs.
*La Leche League of Austin, available online at www.lllaustin.org/

281) The Note

September 16, 2008
Tuesday

El Milagro: In at 4:30 today… traffic from my class to here was terrible. Rosie the Tech is working with a new guy from somewhere near Houston/Galveston, saying he’ll be going home Saturday, hopefully. Rosie kids me about being early… my machine won’t be ready for 11 more minutes. I’m in the corner today, playing Little Jack Horner… Kim the nurse comes up and sets my BP monitor, takes my BP and does a nursing eval. She mentions that the bell pepper recipe “looks easy” and I ask if she tried it and she shakes her head “no”.

Rosie comes over to stick my quickly and I am on my way to another blood cleansing. Dr. Venkatesh comes by for the doctor’s “drive by” and I’ll have to rename this activity because Venkatesh takes long enough to have an actual conversation with people… even me who always says, “Just fine” to almost every question. I want to find a name that respects her paying more attention, and yet continues the notion that it is less than an appropriate “doctor’s visit” that they charge our insurance for. Any ideas from readers?

Jordy the Dietician is with the doc, as is Jo the Nurse. I ask Jordy, “Where does the name Gordy come from?” and she quickly replies, “Its JORDY!" “Short for Jordan?”, I pursue. “Yes. Did Rosie have something to do with this… she calls me Gordy”, and I quickly retort, “Yep. Rosie told me your name was Gordy… thanks for clarifying.” She glares at Rosie and goes off down the row with the doc. I say loudly behind her… “Rosie! Gordy? That means little fatso… how dare you call her fatso…” and then Rosie blows her top at me. Its all worthy of a good laugh and it seems all are in a good mood today.

Then Sherry the Social Worker comes up to ask about sharing web links with a new patient who wants good info on the web about dialysis… specifically around her response to it… water retention, etc. I give her my blog address, DaVitas, and AAKP to share. She asks how close I am to having to get on Medicare and I shrug… according to her my insurance will only cover my dialysis for 33 months and then it’ll be Medicare and I’ll have to pay a small premium ($90) every month to keep the coverage. “Great!” I think… another darned bureaucracy to deal with.

I listen to NPR while reminding myself of my ratings of class member’s participation today. I jot down my rankings of their participation and move on to watch the ABC News… and then go back again to Public Radio. I doze and wake up and channel surf and find a TV movie called “The Note” on the Hallmark channel. Of course I get 2/3 of the way thru this engrossing movie and then am unhooked and kicked out of the center. And even the website doesn’t tell the ending. Asi es la vida… we never seem to know the ending… only the present. Maybe that’s why they call it the present.

Notes: In at 77 and out at 74.3 kgs.
The Note, retrieved online from http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/publish/consumer/home/shows/the_note0.html

280) Diez y Seis de Septiembre

September 16, 2008
Tuesday

El Milagro: The boards are off the windows and the Winds of Ike are just a memory... except for those made homeless:* those evacuees in middle school gyms in Austin; those friends of ours whose individual stories we hear by bits and pieces every day; and those colleagues from Galveston come to Austin with 60 youth and staff separated from their families. These folks are now like the tribes of Israel trying to find a place to stay for the next few months (?) until they can return to the island. They came to a private school in Austin and cannot stay there as long as it'll take. So now they are moving to a Jewish Youth Camp in Wimberly for an unknown amount of time. Our friends tell stories of how they are holding it together amidst the bureaucratic hurdles (like the feds needing to check the camp out for "security" for a small percentage of ORR [Office of Refugee Resettlement] youth). TNOYS will help these member agency folks by recruiting local PEAKS people to go out and do activities with the kids while they are in the area, provide library resources for experiential programming, and be there to emotionally support our colleagues!

These folks are up here from the first organized youth shelter in Texas, the Albertene Yaeger Center, started by a woman for homeless youth just after the Great Storm of 1910 wiped out the island and left youth of all ages wandering in despair. We who are lucky enough to be spared this kind of despair need to continue to reach out to the weather-related homeless. One way to do so is to donate to the Red Cross (1-800-redcross or go to http://www.redcross.org/.).

Okay. So I get here and notice the windows are open to the bright blue sky and I forget to weigh in cause using the new in-floor weigher isn't a habit yet... Rosie the Tech comes up and in the beginning salutations and catching up, I unhook my BP monitor and go weigh in at 77.0.

Rosie has been off for a few days taking care of her ill brother after he got out of the hospital for some complications from his cirrosis of the liver. She says she is happy to be back here and I reply that I am happy to welcome her back. She sticks me quickly and Celeste the Nurse comes by to do my nursing eval. She and I talk about a national insurance plan (Hillary's), the homeless adults who stand on the corner of Oltorf and 35, and the possibilities for homeless men to work if they stand at the local pick-up point downtown. She is from the Phillipines and reports they have no help at all over there... that families must care for their own and there are really no social services to speak of. Her slant seems to be that the help we have here is too easy to get for people who really could work. My slant, of course, is that the richest nation in the world ought to provide a minimal income of each and every citizen, including complete medical care for all.

Okay. So, I should be opening my Saleebey and reading up for Thursday... I don't feel like it... so I listen to NPR and cruise thru the channels on the TV and end up watching some continuing news of the Winds of Ike. Then I snooze for a bit and wake up around 8 to watch a bio on Angelina Jolie's work with youth of the world. Then it is time to leave and I zip outa there fast to rush home to a dinner with my family. So it goes.

And finally, in rememberance of 16 de Sept:

"Estoy vivo cuando todos los otros se sienten muertos,
pero soy la muerte
para todos quiénes temen la vida.
Soy el guerrero Mexika espiritual de el
Sexto Sol, despertado del sueño
de 500 años de esclavitud.
Soy todo lo que voy a, yo ser todo que era,
Soy todo que será.
Soy el Mexika del Sexto Sol. "

Ramsey Muñiz

Notes: In at 77 and out at 74.5 kgs
*Amazing Hurricane Ike Photos retrieved online from
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/09/the_short_but_eventful_life_of.html#photo11

** Retvieved online from El Grito de Septiembre 16, http://www.freeramsey.com/Diez.html

279) Sunday Dialysis

September 13, 2008
Sunday

El Milagro: I arrive just after noon today and walk into a room still darkened by the boarded up windows and with all the staff gathered around the nurses station with Susanne the Administrator and the Regional Boss speachifying. Jason the Tech points out my chair on the back wall.

Jason comes over to stick me a few minutes later and I tell him about talking to Mitch and Mitch's salutations to him. He does his usual client-centered cannulation and reports on the new semester at Austin Community College. Also Amanda the Tech is here and comes by to say "Hi" as is Connie the Nurse who'll probably do my nursing eval. I tell Connie aboout being happy about coming in Sunday instead of Saturday and she replies that I am the only one who's happy... everyone else is complaining, it seems to here, and at least 4 people didn't even come in today. Turns out El Milagro was opened yesterday for evacuees from Houston. I mentioned to Connie that they should tell the complainers that they were responsible for the center being able to help out the folks from the Winds of Ike and that might make them feel better... Connie figured they already had said that... I replied, "No... they just told us they were closing because of the weather..." She thinks there were 12 evacuees dialyzed yesterday.

While El Milagro was opening up for evacuees from the Winds of Ike, we were celebrating the
opening of Sycamore Creek Concerts and T & G's 20th anniversary at their new "barn" northwest of Dripping Springs... and very happily hearing the melodies of los Romenceros (with special guest Paul Glasse), and the harmonica and voice of Him and Her with themselves (Brenda Freed and Michael D'Eath).


Connie the Nurse moves on and I set to reviewing a few chapters for next class... turn on Prairie Home Companion and then realize that the regular boisterousness of Garrison's show jazzels my concentration on the readings... so I flip it off but keep the earphones on to dampen my neighbors too loud TV show.

Kim the Nurse comes over to do my nursing eval and I again remember that I have forgotten to bring her the recipe I promised her. "STUFFED GREEN PEPPERS!! I must remember this" I say to myself again... since I have forgotten to remember ten times ten now. She reports that she got rain last night finally and wonders if it is from the hurricaine or from some other weather... I don't know that so I shrug and then she shrugs. The Winds of Ike completely missed us in Austin, except for the one breeze that rang my Paulo Solari wind chimes out back that haven't rung in 10 years.

While I'm reading Dr. Moritz rushes in and gets on the computer inside the nurses station. He's working on Sunday? By quarter to two I'm done with deShazer & Dolan and move on to Saleebey... and read until 2:15 when I find I rather listen to American Routes, which is featuring the music of Johnny Cash today. I close my book, lay my chair back, pull my hat down over my eyes, and let early Cash run through my brain.

Notes: In at 76.6 and out at 74.6 Kgs.

278) Waiting for the Winds of Ike

September 11, 2008
Thursday

El Milagro: Arrived here at 4:20 this afternoon and had NO wait. As I drove up I noticed workers were just finishing up boarding the windows in fear of the Winds of Ike, which will enter Austin on Saturday. I am a bit surprised that El Milagro is so worried. Later we all got a notice that the center will be closed Saturday and us Saturday folks will have to come in on Sunday for our blood cleansing. Carrie the Tech cannulates me and she is doubtful; thinking that these Winds of Ike will be “no big deal”. Jo the Nurse comes over, does my nursing eval and she doesn’t know what to think… although they both agree the windows boarded up, from the inside, seems a little creepy.

I get Carrie to call Susanne the Administrator over and probe her for the “answer” about the boards and closings… she reports that it was the Regional Boss who said, “close down the district” (which includes the Austin-Laredo corridor, except for San Antonio, and the Austin-Victoria corridor complete with Luling, Gozales, Quero… Beeville). Susanne says also that the boards belong to the building owner and they asked El Milagro if they wanted them up, so Susanne said, “Sure” and emphasized the statement with a shrug of her shoulders. Okay.

As Susanne was explaining the closing, Jay the Boss Nurse came up with a new machine, saying, “I want to introduce you to my new machine…” called a Transonic Flow Machine… very modern looking but not as cute as WALL-E. He told the TFM to measure my fistula’s performance and it turns out, of course, that I have “0” recirculation and my vascular access flow is 1350 ml/min. Jay the Boss says, “That’s perfect!” so I have to believe him cause he IS the big nurse guy that you don’t wanna mess with.

Right around that time, Gordy the Pointy-toed Dietician comes up all smiling and a twitter to tell me that my phosphous is back down to 4.4 and I am a good patient to have had the guts to bring that baby back down again. Well, that’s not exactly the way she put it, but you get the point. I am good! "All of your lab results are good", she says… and, "I knew you could do it!" so I report them to you, dear reader:

Albumin = 3.8 (>4 is best)
Hemoglobin = 12.9 (>11 is best)
Iron Saturation = 30% (20 to 50% is good)
Ferritin (stored Iron) = 636 (200-500 is good)
Calc Corrected = 9.2 (8.4 – 9.2 is good)
Phosphorous = 4.4 (3.5 – 5.5. is within the limits)
PTH Intact = 147 (150 – 300 is normal)
Potassium = 4.9 (3.5 – 5.5 is good)
Glucose = 112 (80 – 180 is good)

Okay! Now for some luscious enchiladas! And French fries, yum yum.

When ABC News comes on I watch Charlie Gibson interview Sarah Palin and it is not to informative or revealing, in my estimation. Now I hear her idioms and phrases and “party lines” every time I listen to her and I want her to be transparent and genuine. Phrases like “right off the back”, “you can’t blink”, “reform of government”, and “energy independence” and “energy is a part of national security” stick in my mind during the interview. And, of course there is a lot on the news also about 9/11 and what everyone is doing to commemorate that black day.

I read a bit on my Saleebey book and then make some notes about my class this afternoon and things I want to do more of or change for next week. And then I lay back and watch the Weather station for awhile to see what the Winds of Ike are looking like. Later I cruise thru the channels but none of the usual fare seems interesting… and I end up watching I Was Biten on Discovery. Scary show that makes me sqirm. And fortunately, Carrie the Tech comes up to unhook me and before I know it I’m back into the world of balm… thinking, “another humid Austin night…” And so it goes.

Notes: In at 76.6 Kgs. and out at 74.6 Kgs.

277) Palinoscopy

September 9, 2008
Tuesday

El Milagro: Got here at 4 on the dot and waited until 4:10. I noticed because Celeste the Nurse asks me how long I waited today. She is constantly conscious of my waiting times these days... and that is a good thing. Michelle the Jovial Tech pokes me today. She is fast and painless and I like her a lot... but she isn't around most of the time. They set me up and I set up my radio-earphones-ATC system and settle back for some class prep (reading Saleebey) and making notes for how to compress my more-than-three-hour agenda for Thursday's class and listening to ATC.

I'm also curiously waiting for news about Sarah Palin, the new emissary of the far far right. Last week I had lunch with my dad and he asked what I thought of her... and I had to admit I didn't know much... so I have been paying more attention since then. Paying attention is an interesting concept: because we normally attend to things that we pick out of the myriad of data out in the cosmos. And, we pick out the things to attend to that we identify as worthy of attention, or glittering examples of what we already like and are attracted to. We cannot possibly attend to all the data, so we almost unconsciously select out the data that will fit into our personal, pre-conceived universe of brain pudding. So, what we attend to informs what we think, and what we think informs what we find to attend to. So, when I am out looking for information on Sarah I am finding materials that fit the criteria of "worthy" source data. I personally search for info that is "objective" AND I also know that there are many different perspectives on what is "objective" data... for example; I know that my dad and I have different definitions of "objective". [This is a example of the difference between the Modern and Post-modern world: the dissolution of the idea of Truth with a capitol "T"]. Anyway, my search for info on Sarah takes me to sources that I identify as "objective" like NPR, Snopes, etc. and I also will read most info sources that appear in front of my radar, unless they are fully situated in the realm of the absurdly right wing.

News has it at this point that the Dems, Independents, Libertarians, and even moderate or liberal Republicans may be sufficiently alarmed as to join together to ensure that Palin doesn't get to a position of being "one heartbeat away from the presidency". From what I've read so far, my little brain worries that Palin might be even more dangerous to this country than Bush! She appears to be ten times as smart and way more devious. What do we think of trading a bumbling and stupid neo-con for a shrewdly vicious neo-con? For those who are studying both sides of Palin, read the Debbie Frost mirror image letter and the Kilkenny letter* and make up your own mind. Of course, we must always assume that the people writing these personal diatribes have the best intentions.

More to come!
Notes:

Letters at Snopes, online at http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/sarahpalin.asp

276) Dialysis: Opportunity for Study

September 6, 2008
Saturday

El Milagro: I'm here at 1:30 today. Amanda the Smiley Tech pokes me and we talk about left handedness... she makes some comment about shifting her body around to poke me and being left handed with writing only... and I reply that my daughter Katie is like that too. As usual, she does an excellent job of poking me and I begin surfing the TV channels to find out when the UT game is on. UT is playing UTEP today: the school I work at versus my alma mater! Who do I root for? Well, probably it'll be UT... I love that Colt kid runnin' the team and all my in-laws are UT grads... but I'll also love seeing Sun Bowl stadium and remember the games I attended there and mowing the lawns that used to climb the end zones at a precarious tilt. Now the north end zone is filled with seats and the south with cement. El Paso is all excited about hosting the horns (see "Big moment for UTEP in Sun Bowl"*). I find that the game is on ESPN 2 after dark... so... DARN! I'll miss it cause tonight we are planning to go to Threadgill's to see the band I affectionately call Bellvue Unit... actually their name is the Belleville Outfit.**

Connie the Nurse is here today (my old nurse at Mortitz's office) and she says "Hi". Once I find I won't be watching UT football, I settle on ESPN football muted (Penn St. v.s. Oregon St.) while I am reading texts for my Thursday class. This reading for class will become one of my main dialysis activities for the fall: a forced sit down time to study! This is a good thing. Dialysis is a good time to sit and do things one has to do and doesn't usually make the time for in their activity-filled life. Today I am reading a chapter in Berg & DeJong's Interviewing for Solutions and a chapter in Murphy & Duncan's Brief Interventions for School Problems. As I am reading I am creating ideas for students' activities and practice situations for behavioral rehearsal of strengths-based counseling techniques. For example, I muse that I could ask them to pay attention to specific constructivist questions and collect them for later use... and... or, over the semester I could do a SF interview with each student on an "issue" or difficulty they have, and do it with the prerequisite that they NOT identify the "problem". This is always an experiment that leads to the person's recognizing the difference between "problem talk" and "solution-talk". So, my brain is flowing on down the river of ideas and options for my class as my blood flows thru the cleansing machine.

And Joe Paterno's boys are smearing the Beavers while I muse. Of course, to complete the system, I am listening to Ed Miller on Folkways in my ears as background music while reading and constructing ideas for class. Finally I get tired of all this and look for a good movie to relax to... finding Obsessed, with William Devane... and watch it for my last hour... without catching the ending. My hallucination is that it's gotta end in some 'surprise' ending, like the girl driving Devane mad and ending with his killing her and having to pay the price of his philandering (just my thoughts).

So, around 8:45 one of the Techs whose name I still don't know, after seeing her around for ages now (an older Hispanic woman who is less than detail oriented) comes over to disconnect me and patch me up. I sit there holding my holes for awhile, considering if I can sit til the end of this movie... and realize I can't wait that long... and that this is not really that compelling a movie and my hallucination about its ending is probably as good as the real ending. So, when I see Amanda smiling over, asking me "are you ready?" I nod in agreement and she gently tapes me up and I weigh out and walk into a balmy Saturday nite wondering if I will really feel up to a night on the town at Threadgill's. We'll see.

Notes: In at 76.2 and out at 73.9 Kgs.
BTW: You may notice I haven't posted since last Saturday. Adding teaching a graduate class to my schedule may impact posting on this blog. This last week I was swamped with two conference presentations, preparing for class, and lots of loose ends tying at work... so, the blogging fell off the map. I am devoted to blogging here for the sake of PKD and Dialysis people to read [with the GOAL of showing that folks on dialysis with chronic kidney disease and kidney failure CAN continue to live an active and prosperous life... supporting the notion of LIFEALYSIS that we see posted on dialysis workers' t-shirts]. So, we'll see how I can fit in blogging during these teaching months.
* Big moment... in Herald Tribune online at http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/09/05/sports/FBC-T25-Texas-UTEP.php
**Belleville Outfit online at http://www.bellevilleoutfit.com/

275) Saturday at the Salt Mines

August 30, 2008
Saturday

El Milagro: I'm here at 4 today because I spent the day doing yard work, trimming the oak trees, cleaning the back porch, edging and mowing, etc. Ann the Nurse checks my BP (100/65), my nursing eval and cannulates me today. She does an okay job and she forgets the thermometer in my mouth and I wait and wait and finally take it out myself. I am feeling exhausted and hope to get some sleep. I notice Rosie and Amanda the Techs, across the room, waving at me... and it takes some time to register in my little brain that I should wave back.

Once I'm hooked up, I lay back and try to go to sleep... turning the TV to some news channel that is reporting about the newest hurricane that threatens the coast. I doze... waking up sometime later, recognizing I am having some cramping in my right calf. I am able to massage and stretch this one out. Then I have one after another in the bottoms of my feet and those are easy to deal with. Then I have one begin in my left leg and I get it quickly... it's almost like chasing a pesky mosquito around my body. Finally, I get a cramp in my right thigh and I end up calling Rosie over and she switches my dialyzer off for awhile. Rosie thinks Ann set me up to take too much off to begin with so it is okay to stop for awhile. Awhile becomes about 30 minutes and it works marvelously to end the cramping. Later, I call her over and ask her to turn me back on...

I flip the channels on the TV and catch the last few minutes of "Meet Joe Black" and then watch the beginning of "Hope Floats" about Smithville, filmed around central Texas, and featuring Harry Connick Jr. wearing a KFAN t-shirt and Sandra Bullock playing herself.

Then I fall back asleep and wake up when Ann the Nurse comes over to ask me to update my meds list, which she has right except for one med. I flip the channel again, avoiding Becvar & Becvar's text laying on my chair shelf, which I brought to review for Class 2, next Thursday. "Thursday! Shoot... I can review my readings next Tuesday..." I tell myself confidently. I find a mystery on PBS (Rosemary & Thyme) and watch until time to unhook, which, of course, happens right before the beginning of the climax of the show. So it goes in dialy-land.

Notes: In at 75.0 and out at 73.8 kgs.

274) Phos 7, Jack 0

August 28, 2008
Thursday

El Milagro: I am late today and yet Celeste the Nurse pokes her head out of the treatment room within about two minutes, calling me in to my chair. Today is my first class for the Fall semester and although it gets out at 4 if find it takes me about 20 to 30 minutes to drive over here from east Austin... so, I figure I'll be 20 to 30 minutes 'late' every Thursday. I report this finding to Rosie the Tech and she replies, "Just get here before 4:30 so we don't have to take you off early." Jo the Nurse is part of this conversation and she remarks that she worked at a facility that didn't close until 10 at night, specifically for those of us who work and have to come in after our jobs. Both of them seem okay with my coming in at 4:30 on Thursdays thru the fall, and that suits me just fine.

Today the person who set up my 'kit' for cannulation put size 14 needles in the kit and Rosie questioned that, asking if I knew anything about moving from size 15 to 14. I shrugged and nodded, "no". Jo didn't order the change. Usually the doc orders a change... the rationale being that I can get better clearance with larger needles. When I looked at the needle, I notice that it is so big I can see right down the hole... looks kinda like a shaved tailpipe. And, of course, sticking them into my fistula is a bit more prickly than usual, but really not too bad.

After I am hooked up and listening to NPR, Gordy the Dietician comes up with a scowl on her face and I immediatly know that my phosphorous must be up again... she says "What have you been eating? Your phosphorous is off the chart! It woulda been Sunday or Monday... do you remember what you ate? Cheese, beer, chips, beans... what was it this time?" Turns out my phosphorous is up to 7.4 (5 is the high end of normal and mine has been steadily going up: July 15 = 4.9 and August 12 = 5.9). I can't figure out what the culprit foods were last Sunday... that's ages ago... who knows what I was eating?

Dr. Rowder comes up for his last 'driveby' (he is transferring and Central Texas Kidney Assn. will again arbitrarily assign a new doc without considering the desires of the patients). At least this time Rowder is telling us that this will happen*. Rowder and I discuss my phosphorous high and I remind him I'm taking 1/2 a Fosrenol and 4 Phoslos at each meal. He suggests I try taking the Phoslos BEFORE I eat to see if that makes a difference... and, of course, make an effort to get back to my low phosphorous diet. I promise I will.

I spend the remainder of my session today copy editing the new Tex Net News for work, dozing, making notes about ideas for the class, and watching the Democratic Convention on PBS. Highlight of the convention for me tonight is hearing Al Gore talk... I wish he had had that passion when he was running against Shrub... although I think it was really in the cards that the Republicans were going to steal the election any way they could. I am afraid that they will pull all the plugs in this election season and we will have to watch them like hawks to ensure their usually illegal and nefarious activities are brought to light in time to stop them in their tracks before November 4th. "Don't get me started..." I say to myself, watching my BP raise just thinking about the possibilities of a negative campaign on both sides. I hope Obama has the integrity to stay out of the lambasting and stick to the positive reasons that the Dems can reconstruct our government. (Do you want to share your ideas here Albert?)

Notes: In at 76.6 and out at 74.3 kgs.
* See Post # 130, May 2007 about CTKA transferring patients without their permission.

273) Locked Door Dilemma

August 26, 2008
Tuesday

El Milagro: I arrive today a few minutes after four and wait 35 minutes before Carrie the Tech comes out and asks, "Are you ready?". This is not the thing to say to someone who has waited 35 minutes. She also reports that my chair has been ready since 1 pm! I complain to Carrie that because of the locked door, I wasn't able to come in and check, and that is the down side of locking us out of the treatment room.

So, I have been thinking about what I, as an assertive patient, can do to be part of the solution... coming up with one thing I can do. During the time I was waiting Jay the Boss, Susanne the Administrator, Marilyn the Social Worker, and Joseph the Tech all went by from the treatment room to the administrative section. The squeaky wheel gets the grease... I could easily ask each of the staff as they go by to check and see if my chair is ready yet.

Later Celeste the Nurse comes up and opens up a discussion with me, having overheard my complaints to Carrie. Celeste says they are supposed to check whenever they have a chair ready to see if the person is in the waiting room, but they get very busy with the work that is in front of them. I replied that that was exactly my point... that they are so busy that it is very easy to forget to check the waiting room... and some techs do better than others on checking and being client-centered than others. One of the options that Celeste came up with is that I should knock on the door rather than wait. I think that when I see people do that the folks who open the door seem quite put out that patients are knocking rather than waiting. So, anyway, Celeste said she would try to do better at checking for missing patients and I told her I would do better at squeaking at staff that are walking by in the waiting room.

Notes: In at 76.5 and out at 74.3 kgs.
New Readers: For an INDEX, click January 2008 on the Sidebar and page down to post # 207.

272) Emma Thuy's 2nd Birthday

August 22, 2008
Saturday

El Milagro: The alarm rings at 5:15 this morning and I drag myself outa bed and pull on blue jeans and a t-shirt, fuzzily thinking to myself that a 2 year old's birthday party shouldn't do this to me. Today is little Emma Thuy's birthday party at 3 pm and the only option for dialyzing, according to Rosie the Tech in a call last night, is this morning at 5:30. "NO!" I yell back at her on the phone... "how about 8?" and she reluctantly negotiates it to 6, adding, "be here BEFORE 6" and I agree. I am sluggishly stumbling around and can't decide to make or not make coffee for about 10 minutes, at which time it is time to go. It is dark. Not only in the rooms of the house and outside... but also in hallways of my brain. I drive over to the center and park with all the other early risers, thinking that there's more cars here in this parking lot than I've seen all the way over here. I walk in... the door's open... and James the Nurse is standing there, offering me a smiling "Good morning!" I manage a smile and a grumble. My chair is on the back wall and they are ready for me. This older Hispanic woman who has been around some time and yet I don't know her name comes to poke me and I nod agreement to her questions and statements and she hooks me up and I slump into my chair, hoping I can return to dreamland. I pull my hat down over my eyes, pull my blanket up around my chin, and try to settle in for a doze... no happen. "The lights are too bright" I tell myself, ducking further inside the brim of the hat... "...too much noise..." I say, sticking in my earphones and tuning in to World Cafe and then Sound Opinions and... no sleep yet. James the Nurse comes over to do my nursing eval.

Sometimes I can come in early, get hooked up, and go right back to sleep... not today evidently... so I listen thru WC and SO and then turn off my radio and just lay there with my cap down over my eyes, trying to get back to sleep. I think about all the times I have sat with Shayna when she can't go to sleep, giving her ideas about how to sleep... "see if you can slow your thoughts down to a drone" --- "how Daddy?" --- "When you are talking to yourself, slow down that each word is 30 seconds long... thirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeconnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndsssssssss
loooooooooooongggggggggggggggggg..." I chuckle. She never got it... and now she can go to sleep on her own... somehow she figured out how herself. I wonder briefly about this human ability to teach ourselves things... and remember reading about Milton E. re-teaching himself to walk after polio... and so I try slowing my own self talk down. This, b-t-w, is an old NLP trick.

Maybe I sleep maybe I don't... can't tell. Every so often I crack my eyes open and it always seems to be the same time: 20 til 8! Seven forty! Twenty til Eight! 7:40! "I am looking too often" I tell myself, and then I say, "Hush! No talk! Sleep!" ....Peek. 20 til 8! "I am stuck in time!!! Must figure this out! NO! Sleep. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep..."

"QUARTER til 8!" So this is how this morning is going. I finally turn the radio back on and listen to Morning Edition and decide to be happy about being awake and ready to input data so early. Then I think I musta dozed for awhile.

At ten I am getting unhooked and Cheryll the Tech is much gentler than the one who hooked me up. However, she won't let me leave just yet cause my BP is down around 97/62. I sit for five minutes and then it is 87/46! I sit for awhile, thinking jumpy thoughts: running and leaping. 92/55. Finally it comes up to 97/70 and James okay's me leaving below the 100 cut-off point and I shoot outa there to live the rest of the day.

Later: The reason I dialyzed early today is to attend Emma Thuy's second birthday at Freddies.* She isn't old enough yet to have her own friends so it is mostly adults ooing and ahhing little Emma, and with a few kids, aged 8 months, 8, 11, and 18 acting age-appropriately.

Notes: In at 76.5 and out at 74.3 kgs
* Freddies online @ www.freddiesplaceaustin.com/