May 26, 2007
Saturday
Kerrville Dialysis Center: Today I get here right at 5:30 am, even though I left the ranch 10 minutes late and it was rainy and foggy the whole way into town. The story is that I couldn’t get the dialysis shift I wanted in the afternoon, so I had to accept a 5:30 am time for my dialysis. I figured that when I got here I could re-negotiate a better deal for next weekend. (However, they only have two shifts and the other starts at 9 am, so 5:30 is better for me) This center is beautiful, with in floor scales, all new dialysis machines, floating TV’s, and a beautiful patterned tile floor. All of it looking spanking new and fresh and clean. I feel funny walking in with my muddy Chaco* sandals and mud-splattered legs.
I’m muddy because Quiet Valley Ranch** is like a huge gooky mud pie right now. Mostly the foot-deep mud is in the parking lots and all night long we in the staff campground hear people gunning their cars thinking they’ll get some traction and be able to move. But they don’t get traction in the mud, and they slide around bopping into other cars sometimes and generally getting deeper engaged in the muck. The sounds are of engines racing, the wrrrssshhhhhhh of tires spinning in the mud, and the voices yelling encouragement or warnings or directions for the mostly futile attempts at freeing the vehicles. Sometimes there’s wrrrssshhhhhhhing, then yelling, and a crunch at the end, indicating that there’s another victim of people trying to leave the festival. The later it gets Friday night the less we hear from the parking field so we drift off to sleep with the constant rain ebbing and flowing on our tent top.
I worry about the alarm going off so I wake up every half hour or so to check and see if I’m late. I wake up at 4:30 and it’s early. Then I wake up at 5:10 and I’m late. I rush out and walk through the staff tents quietly in the drizzle and fog, up the puddly dirt road to the staff center and out into the parking lot, finding my way along grassy areas that soak my Chacos and then through 6” deep mud to my truck, that I parked up on the grassy side of a hill. It’s downhill all the way to the road so I make it without any problems and I’m on my way into town slinging mud from my tires for the first quarter mile.
So here I am in a new center, hyper conscious about how they stick me and watching carefully to see if they look professional and competent. They do. The only thing I can think of to complain about is that it is difficult to go back to sleep cause they keep their bright lights on all the time. At El Milagro, after they hook you up, they turn down the lights if you want it that way. Here they aren’t set up to turn down the lights because they are long light fixtures that go all the way down the hall-type room that is the center. So I pull my hat’s bill down over my eyes and make the best of it. I actually fall asleep quickly and sleep until about 9 o’clock. Then I set my radio to San Antonio NPR and listen to the weekend programming until I get done at 10. I feel pretty good and shoot outa there to find a place to get an oil change and lube job before heading back to the ranch.
Quiet Valley Ranch: When I get back, I’m too late to work breakfast at all… in fact I’m too late to even eat breakfast. So, I find the girls at the Shabbat services at Threadgill Theatre, help Cari pour the wine and grape juice for Kiddush, say "Hi" to everyone, and then Liz, the girls, and I walk back to our tent. Shayna & Maya want to go swimming in town but I convince them to change their plans because I don’t want them getting stuck in the mud and I don’t want to loose my great parking place near the staff campground gate. The girls are sad but perk up at the idea of walking down the road a half mile to Turtle Creek and checking it out. I go back to the kitchen and help Cari cut apart 100 pounds of frozen chicken for the dinner stir fry. Then I head back over to Threadgill to hear the last of the children’s concert, and then wander over to say hi to the Tod Group at their new Comfy Campsite on the lower high road. Mitch has 'our' pop-up set up nicely right below the group, built a deck, and has out the party lights we never could use cause we didn’t have electric.
I am the guy who does the theatre rush at 6 and gets our usual seats 5 rows front center left. The concerts are great (especially Michael Smith*** and Denise Frankee****) and it is again like “being home”… that feeling that many of us get, I suspect, when we settle into being on the ranch, weathering whatever the weather does, chilling out (as the kids would say), listening to great music, and seeing good friends. I am totally tired out by halfway through Johnsmith (http://www.kerrvillefolkfestival.com/2007_1_5.htm ) so I walk back to the tent and turn in early. Later I hear Liz getting the kids all settled in their tent: its as if it is a distant radio broadcast in my dreams, and I poke back into semi-consciousness as she bounces onto the air mattress. I’ve modernized our 10x8 tent this year by cutting a piece of 3/4” exterior plywood in the shape of the air mattress, routing the edges to a nice roundness, and leveling the downhill side with rocks so we have a perfectly level platform bed. No more sliding down hill on the air mattress and I contend that now its as good as the pop-up. At about 4 am we hear Shayna softly calling “Mom?”…. “We’re all wet cause you left our door open”. Rather than start a midnight discussion about 10 year olds and 'responsibility', we just want to be quiet and get back to sleep. We bundle the kids into our warm and dry tent and they immediately go back to sleep… and their wetness changes the humidity in our little blue tinted universe inside the box (tent). When we get up to do out morning kitchen duty at 6:30 we hafta crawl over little girl bodies spread out in our entry hall. Liz throws them on the air mattress and we’re out in the crisp morning air and on to work on the Kitchen Krew.
Today we’re making egg-artichoke casserole and I’m doing food prep (17 hotel pans serving 28) and Liz is making coffee. We actually made too much (highly unusual) for the over 400 people who made it over for breakfast before we close at 11, and I label the remaining 40 servings or so and put them away for the weekday crew. Nightly rain and the festival’s aging population bring more and more people to breakfast. We think it’s the popularity of our menu tambien.
As I’m about to get ready to go to Threadgill to hear the New Folk Concert Lizzie springs it on me that the girls wanna go home. Liz is tired and wants a quiet day at home for a change, Maya has a rash that itches, and Shayna misses Chelsea. I relent easily and we pack up the truck, batten the hatches on the tents, and find Cari and Stuart to make our excuses and get on the road. Another first Kerrville weekend is done with and we’re heading up the long hill to Fredricksburg talking about the highlights of the two days back at the festival for year number 13!
Notes: In at 73.9 and out at 72 Kgs.
* Chaco’s Headwaters available online at http://www.chacousa.com/
**About QVR retrieved online May 2007 from the KFF website at http://www.kerrville-music.com/about_qvranch.htm
*** Michael Smith retrieved online May 2007 from the KFF website at http://www.kerrvillefolkfestival.com/performers/2007%20KFF/k07_michael%20smith.htm
****Denice Franke retrieved online May 2007 from the KFF website at http://www.kerrvillefolkfestival.com/performers/2007%20KFF/k07_denice%20franke.htm
New Readers: For a Welcome post, click August 2006 on the sidebar.
5/18/07
132) A Good Day
May 17, 2007
Thursday
El Milagro: I got here on time today and as Jason was canulating me, I noticed that Jennifer the Dietician was going around the room reporting back to folks on their latest blood work. On my right, there was an older woman and her daughter who are here for the first time and being taught the process by Ron the Nurse. The older woman seemed not too sure about the whole thing and her daughter was trying to be upbeat, saying things like, “Wow; if I were here I’d just take a nap or watch TV.” and “this place is really pretty nice, isn’t it?”. I imagine the older woman is her mother, and she sees right through her daughter’s façade of fun-ness. Nobody is thrilled to come here the first time. Later on, after the daughter leaves, the old woman pulls her red tartan plaid blanket up over her head and doesn't come out for hours. At times she peeks out like a turtle peeks out of it's shell to see if it's safe.
Jennifer the Dietician comes over and reports to me that all my blood work was excellent this time! My phosphorous and potassium are great and my blood count is back up. This is two good lab reports in a row! WOW! I can run out and break my diet rules with impunity!
Well, maybe I can have one enchilada and take my Fosrenol right afterwards. Actually, I’ve been taking ½ a Fosrenol in the middle of each meal cause if I take a whole one afterwards, it makes me nauseous. I got tired of that real fast so I changed my order to taking ½ in the middle and that has led to these fabulous lab reports. Before I had to take so many meds, I used to wonder why anyone would not follow their prescriptions to a ‘T’, but now, as one of the medical guinea pigs, I see the reasoning behind patients ignoring their doctors and experimenting with different doses at different times than the doctors prescribe. Its like taking back some control over your own self: I have more autonomy when I decide how and when to take my meds. And this time it is working. I must admit that since my Fosrenol (an outrageously expensive medication; which is why it works, maybe) has helped my phosphorous get back into the “normal” range, I have been experimenting with eating small tastes of a few of the foods on the “NO NO NO” list, just to see what would happen. And wha-da-ya-know… this month’s phos numbers are still okay. Makes me wanta cheat just a little bit more. Lets see… I think I’d like some mixed nuts.
So Jennifer reports and leaves and I get back to listening to All Things Considered and then turn over to some PBS show since Survivor is over. I drift off a little and then…
POOF! Right in front of me is my smiling son Johnny, looking scraggly and extremely huggable. “Hi dad” he says, and I say, “Johnny!” and he bends over to hug me but that really isn’t gonna happen in my prostrate position so I just put my hand up and pat his face as he bends over. He’s smiling and I can’t even describe how it is to open your eyes to see your son after 10 months of not seeing him. He looks just the same! His mom brought him by after picking him up at the airport and we converse a little before they go out to dinner. He’ll be around all weekend before going down to Center Point to work at Camp C.A.M.P. for the summer. What can I say? The boy’s back and he brought all his parts back from Hawaii. It is a good day!
Notes: In at 75.2 and out at 72.2
Thursday
El Milagro: I got here on time today and as Jason was canulating me, I noticed that Jennifer the Dietician was going around the room reporting back to folks on their latest blood work. On my right, there was an older woman and her daughter who are here for the first time and being taught the process by Ron the Nurse. The older woman seemed not too sure about the whole thing and her daughter was trying to be upbeat, saying things like, “Wow; if I were here I’d just take a nap or watch TV.” and “this place is really pretty nice, isn’t it?”. I imagine the older woman is her mother, and she sees right through her daughter’s façade of fun-ness. Nobody is thrilled to come here the first time. Later on, after the daughter leaves, the old woman pulls her red tartan plaid blanket up over her head and doesn't come out for hours. At times she peeks out like a turtle peeks out of it's shell to see if it's safe.
Jennifer the Dietician comes over and reports to me that all my blood work was excellent this time! My phosphorous and potassium are great and my blood count is back up. This is two good lab reports in a row! WOW! I can run out and break my diet rules with impunity!
Well, maybe I can have one enchilada and take my Fosrenol right afterwards. Actually, I’ve been taking ½ a Fosrenol in the middle of each meal cause if I take a whole one afterwards, it makes me nauseous. I got tired of that real fast so I changed my order to taking ½ in the middle and that has led to these fabulous lab reports. Before I had to take so many meds, I used to wonder why anyone would not follow their prescriptions to a ‘T’, but now, as one of the medical guinea pigs, I see the reasoning behind patients ignoring their doctors and experimenting with different doses at different times than the doctors prescribe. Its like taking back some control over your own self: I have more autonomy when I decide how and when to take my meds. And this time it is working. I must admit that since my Fosrenol (an outrageously expensive medication; which is why it works, maybe) has helped my phosphorous get back into the “normal” range, I have been experimenting with eating small tastes of a few of the foods on the “NO NO NO” list, just to see what would happen. And wha-da-ya-know… this month’s phos numbers are still okay. Makes me wanta cheat just a little bit more. Lets see… I think I’d like some mixed nuts.
So Jennifer reports and leaves and I get back to listening to All Things Considered and then turn over to some PBS show since Survivor is over. I drift off a little and then…
POOF! Right in front of me is my smiling son Johnny, looking scraggly and extremely huggable. “Hi dad” he says, and I say, “Johnny!” and he bends over to hug me but that really isn’t gonna happen in my prostrate position so I just put my hand up and pat his face as he bends over. He’s smiling and I can’t even describe how it is to open your eyes to see your son after 10 months of not seeing him. He looks just the same! His mom brought him by after picking him up at the airport and we converse a little before they go out to dinner. He’ll be around all weekend before going down to Center Point to work at Camp C.A.M.P. for the summer. What can I say? The boy’s back and he brought all his parts back from Hawaii. It is a good day!
Notes: In at 75.2 and out at 72.2
5/13/07
131) Trying for Luxury
May 12, 2007
Saturday
El Milagro: I'm on time and I saunter into the dialysis clinic as if it is a spa and I'm gonna sit and relax and get my blood done. Matt hooks me up and everyone seems to be in a cheery mood, like the spa workers would be. Actually, it would be neat if they had people her to do your nails... well, I mean it would be nice for the women, of course. As Matt is canoodling me, there is the new woman next to me again and today she has two of her friends over here, seeing what kind of torture she is going through (at our spa). One of them goes on with Kim the Nurse about being from Arkansas (Little Rock) and came over just as soon as she could, and she had no idea Mildred was in such a state. Matt interupts her to say he's from Memphis, and I remind him Memphis isn't in Arkansas, and he replies that East Memphis is in that state.
I settle back with my radio tuned into the rest of Folkways and read the new New Yorker. I pretend we're at the spa and this is all luxurious treatment. In our spa Crystal is the Toe Girl, Matt and Heather are these Swedish massage people that climb up on your back and beat your muscles into a relaxed state. Kim and Celeste are the Asian accupunturists that go around with prayer hands, nodding their heads in agreement with everything you say. "Ah yes. We have much pleasure to fix you." as they stick skinny needles in your eyebrows and earlobes. I guess Gladys wold have to be the Chinese Doctor and Phyllis would for sure be the manager of the place, running around enuring everything is going just so.
I read on and listen to Live Set after Folkways and hear a great little band from New York: the Slackers. Off and on through the afternoon I think about Moritz dumping me and decide that it's unprofessional to not clearly tell your patient your're transferring them, especially after 10 years of the doctor / patient relationship. I am sure Moritz doesn't think of it this way... in fact he may not of thought of it at all. And, I may be hallucinating this whole thing, cause Jennifer the Dietician may have been wrong. Time will tell. More on this story as it develops.
Notes: In at 73.9 and out at 72 even. BP running in the normal range.
Saturday
El Milagro: I'm on time and I saunter into the dialysis clinic as if it is a spa and I'm gonna sit and relax and get my blood done. Matt hooks me up and everyone seems to be in a cheery mood, like the spa workers would be. Actually, it would be neat if they had people her to do your nails... well, I mean it would be nice for the women, of course. As Matt is canoodling me, there is the new woman next to me again and today she has two of her friends over here, seeing what kind of torture she is going through (at our spa). One of them goes on with Kim the Nurse about being from Arkansas (Little Rock) and came over just as soon as she could, and she had no idea Mildred was in such a state. Matt interupts her to say he's from Memphis, and I remind him Memphis isn't in Arkansas, and he replies that East Memphis is in that state.
I settle back with my radio tuned into the rest of Folkways and read the new New Yorker. I pretend we're at the spa and this is all luxurious treatment. In our spa Crystal is the Toe Girl, Matt and Heather are these Swedish massage people that climb up on your back and beat your muscles into a relaxed state. Kim and Celeste are the Asian accupunturists that go around with prayer hands, nodding their heads in agreement with everything you say. "Ah yes. We have much pleasure to fix you." as they stick skinny needles in your eyebrows and earlobes. I guess Gladys wold have to be the Chinese Doctor and Phyllis would for sure be the manager of the place, running around enuring everything is going just so.
I read on and listen to Live Set after Folkways and hear a great little band from New York: the Slackers. Off and on through the afternoon I think about Moritz dumping me and decide that it's unprofessional to not clearly tell your patient your're transferring them, especially after 10 years of the doctor / patient relationship. I am sure Moritz doesn't think of it this way... in fact he may not of thought of it at all. And, I may be hallucinating this whole thing, cause Jennifer the Dietician may have been wrong. Time will tell. More on this story as it develops.
Notes: In at 73.9 and out at 72 even. BP running in the normal range.
5/12/07
130) Dr. Moritz Ducks Out
May 10, 2007
Thursday
El Milagro: It seemed like it was gonna be a normal dialysis day, which I’m not writing about so much anymore, cause some readers complained that my “normal” dialysis is boring. YES! It is boring lots of time; and that’s the point you all!
At any rate, today I come in and I’m a bit late (30 minutes) and Carol the Tech informs me that I’m not gonna get my full dialysis cause they hafta take me off at 8:30 pm. So, tonight I’ll only get 3.5 hours of blood cleansing…. Damn. And I’m the one who can’t understand other people “coming off early” or not running their full session… and, here I am doing it too. I must work on getting here on time. I used to make it on time every time. I’ve slipped up; probably because it has become such a normal part of living that I take advantage of it… or, something like that.
Well, at some point, Jennifer the Dietician steps over from the long meeting she has been doing with one of the new patients who is sitting right next to me today. She says my blood count is up again and supposes that the added Heparin is helping and nod acceptance of that fact. At some point during our little conversation I think I say something about Dr. Moritz and she replies something like, “Well, he’s not your doctor anymore, now it’s ___”, “the new doc” that I’ve called Nicholas and Lt. Fuzz at times. My reply is “WHAT? I don’t think so. Moritz is my doc!”, to which she replies, more cautiously, “No. Crowder (or whatever his name is) is now your doctor, because he is doing the rounds and signing things.”. I say, “Well my insurance shows its Moritz and I just had to get a new permission for him to keep seeing me.” And we went on like that for a few minutes with me unbelieving and her for sure.
I don’t want a new nephrologists! I’m happy with the grumpy Dr. Moritz! So, now I have to figure out what to do about this situation. I can always make an office appt. to see him, but then it’ll cost me $35 bucks to argue with him about staying as my doctor. I’ll have to be thinking this one over for awhile. So, as Roseanne Roseannadanna always said, “It’s always something.”
Notes: In at 74.9 and out at 72.7 Kgs. In 3.5 hours.
New Readers: Now you can access this blog simply by typing “Jack’s Kidney Adventure” on Google and it’ll take you right here! Cool, huh?
Thursday
El Milagro: It seemed like it was gonna be a normal dialysis day, which I’m not writing about so much anymore, cause some readers complained that my “normal” dialysis is boring. YES! It is boring lots of time; and that’s the point you all!
At any rate, today I come in and I’m a bit late (30 minutes) and Carol the Tech informs me that I’m not gonna get my full dialysis cause they hafta take me off at 8:30 pm. So, tonight I’ll only get 3.5 hours of blood cleansing…. Damn. And I’m the one who can’t understand other people “coming off early” or not running their full session… and, here I am doing it too. I must work on getting here on time. I used to make it on time every time. I’ve slipped up; probably because it has become such a normal part of living that I take advantage of it… or, something like that.
Well, at some point, Jennifer the Dietician steps over from the long meeting she has been doing with one of the new patients who is sitting right next to me today. She says my blood count is up again and supposes that the added Heparin is helping and nod acceptance of that fact. At some point during our little conversation I think I say something about Dr. Moritz and she replies something like, “Well, he’s not your doctor anymore, now it’s ___”, “the new doc” that I’ve called Nicholas and Lt. Fuzz at times. My reply is “WHAT? I don’t think so. Moritz is my doc!”, to which she replies, more cautiously, “No. Crowder (or whatever his name is) is now your doctor, because he is doing the rounds and signing things.”. I say, “Well my insurance shows its Moritz and I just had to get a new permission for him to keep seeing me.” And we went on like that for a few minutes with me unbelieving and her for sure.
I don’t want a new nephrologists! I’m happy with the grumpy Dr. Moritz! So, now I have to figure out what to do about this situation. I can always make an office appt. to see him, but then it’ll cost me $35 bucks to argue with him about staying as my doctor. I’ll have to be thinking this one over for awhile. So, as Roseanne Roseannadanna always said, “It’s always something.”
Notes: In at 74.9 and out at 72.7 Kgs. In 3.5 hours.
New Readers: Now you can access this blog simply by typing “Jack’s Kidney Adventure” on Google and it’ll take you right here! Cool, huh?
5/4/07
129) Short Post (or, the Phosphorous Blues)
May 3, 2007
Thursday
El Milagro: I arrive on time today, get poked by Jason the Regular Guy Tech, and have a nice session of listening to NPR and watching TV. Jason is fairly new around here, and very careful and considerate in his cannulations. It is good, because I hallucinate he is learning and is motivated to build rapport with patients and do a pain-free job on them as much as is possible. He and I have begun to talk some when he is assigned to my chair.
I notice by reviewing these posts, that exactly one year ago today I posted (#6) about talking to Jennifer the Dietician and beginning to learn about the phosphorous blues (all the foods that I shouldn’t eat, how high phosphorous impacts the body, etc.). It seems that those blues have been playing in my life most of the past year and maybe I have now adjusted my diet sufficiently, found the right binders, and had my machine time adjusted enough to move beyond these blues. If I hadn't escaped them, I coulda been the old dialysis blues man, singing and playing the phosphorous blues.
“Oh I can’t eat no pancakes, nor enchiladas eitha,
cause if mah phos gets too high I get the phosphorous feva.
Its been years since ah seena,
mah avocada and sardina….
and ahm singin da blues. Dose phosphorous blues.”
Well, I guess you can tell I’m no singer songwriter, but I do respect those guys (and gals). If any of you songwriters happen along here on this blog, please feel free to write me a song about my phosphorous blues.
Actually, my phosphorous is a lot better these days; I’m just waxing romantic. Its almost as if it's too scary to be funny about when it's on top of you so meanly. Such is our lot in life, I guess.
Notes: In at 74.6 and out at 73.3 (ending BP = 126/60) And Again: Now readers can google my blog by typing Jack’s Kidney Adventure in quotes on google and it’ll take ya right there.
Thursday
El Milagro: I arrive on time today, get poked by Jason the Regular Guy Tech, and have a nice session of listening to NPR and watching TV. Jason is fairly new around here, and very careful and considerate in his cannulations. It is good, because I hallucinate he is learning and is motivated to build rapport with patients and do a pain-free job on them as much as is possible. He and I have begun to talk some when he is assigned to my chair.
I notice by reviewing these posts, that exactly one year ago today I posted (#6) about talking to Jennifer the Dietician and beginning to learn about the phosphorous blues (all the foods that I shouldn’t eat, how high phosphorous impacts the body, etc.). It seems that those blues have been playing in my life most of the past year and maybe I have now adjusted my diet sufficiently, found the right binders, and had my machine time adjusted enough to move beyond these blues. If I hadn't escaped them, I coulda been the old dialysis blues man, singing and playing the phosphorous blues.
“Oh I can’t eat no pancakes, nor enchiladas eitha,
cause if mah phos gets too high I get the phosphorous feva.
Its been years since ah seena,
mah avocada and sardina….
and ahm singin da blues. Dose phosphorous blues.”
Well, I guess you can tell I’m no singer songwriter, but I do respect those guys (and gals). If any of you songwriters happen along here on this blog, please feel free to write me a song about my phosphorous blues.
Actually, my phosphorous is a lot better these days; I’m just waxing romantic. Its almost as if it's too scary to be funny about when it's on top of you so meanly. Such is our lot in life, I guess.
Notes: In at 74.6 and out at 73.3 (ending BP = 126/60) And Again: Now readers can google my blog by typing Jack’s Kidney Adventure in quotes on google and it’ll take ya right there.
5/2/07
128) International Worker’s Day
May 1, 2007
Tuesday
El Milagro: I noticed another new patient here today and mentally noted that I need to introduce myself to the patients on my shift (who don’t already know me) to let them know I’m their representative on the El Milagro Advisory Committee. I am also now on DaVita’s Patient Citizen’s Group now so today is a serendipitous occasion for celebrating patient’s (worker, client) voice in our care. I am sitting here considering these things as Matt the Tech is poking me and going on about something or another while I half listen and half recall past May Days from the sixties. It’s funny, I think, that May Day is simultaneously a holiday of cheer with children dancing with ribbons around a pole; a Catholic holiday honoring Mary; and a day to honor Loyalty to America and the Labor movement. These last two are of particular interest to me, as they might be seen as an example of the Americans lacking cognitive complexity. According to Wayne Duehn, cognitive complexity is the ability to see things in shades of gray, rather than black or white. I might note here that social workers who score high in cognitive complexity do better in their careers and are better able to join with a variety of clients.
So, back to May Day. Socialists and labor movement folks celebrate on May Day to remember the Haymarket Riots in Chicago back in the late 1880’s. In the late ‘60’s and early 70’s, we usually celebrated May Day with either a large dinner or a small march, depending upon our energy level. At any rate, May Day was a day to celebrate, as was Arbor Day, and Frank Zappa’s birthday. So then, in the 1920’s President Eisenhower proclaimed May 1st as Loyalty Day and suggested that all Americans celebrate their loyalty to the nation on this day. Some believe that this was proclaimed specifically to counterbalance the socialist workers celebration of May Day as a call for workers to commemorate the Haymarket Riots and to join together to celebrate the social and economic achievements of the working class.
So May Day evolved from pagan dance day to Christian “Mary Day” to socialist commemorative day, to Republican loyalty day. It somehow fits that the May Pole was originally (Norse) thought of as an axis connecting the underworld, the real world, and the heavens, since all the various folks who have claimed meanings on this day fit somewhere along that axis, I’m sure. I can picture it now: socialists, children, dancing ladies, republicans, Catholics, and flower children all dancing around the May Pole with their multi-coloured ribbons of dogma. And as they sweep around the pole, two by two, their multi-coloured ribbons join together making a stripped barber pole that draws them closer and closer until they have to touch and even maybe hug each other. Or, maybe they all get tied together on the pole…. Either way, it is a nice thought and maybe that’s what May Day is all about.
These were my dreams as I dozed away my time in dialysis, and then awoke to watch a fascinating NOVA on the secret work of Issac Newton. Somehow all is connected. So it goes.
Notes: In at 75.9 and out at 73.0 (no problems with low BP today) Oh yeah! Now readers can google my blog by typing Jack’s Kidney Adventure in quotes on google and it’ll take ya right there.
* “May Day” retrieved online May 2007 from Wikepedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_Day
Tuesday
El Milagro: I noticed another new patient here today and mentally noted that I need to introduce myself to the patients on my shift (who don’t already know me) to let them know I’m their representative on the El Milagro Advisory Committee. I am also now on DaVita’s Patient Citizen’s Group now so today is a serendipitous occasion for celebrating patient’s (worker, client) voice in our care. I am sitting here considering these things as Matt the Tech is poking me and going on about something or another while I half listen and half recall past May Days from the sixties. It’s funny, I think, that May Day is simultaneously a holiday of cheer with children dancing with ribbons around a pole; a Catholic holiday honoring Mary; and a day to honor Loyalty to America and the Labor movement. These last two are of particular interest to me, as they might be seen as an example of the Americans lacking cognitive complexity. According to Wayne Duehn, cognitive complexity is the ability to see things in shades of gray, rather than black or white. I might note here that social workers who score high in cognitive complexity do better in their careers and are better able to join with a variety of clients.
So, back to May Day. Socialists and labor movement folks celebrate on May Day to remember the Haymarket Riots in Chicago back in the late 1880’s. In the late ‘60’s and early 70’s, we usually celebrated May Day with either a large dinner or a small march, depending upon our energy level. At any rate, May Day was a day to celebrate, as was Arbor Day, and Frank Zappa’s birthday. So then, in the 1920’s President Eisenhower proclaimed May 1st as Loyalty Day and suggested that all Americans celebrate their loyalty to the nation on this day. Some believe that this was proclaimed specifically to counterbalance the socialist workers celebration of May Day as a call for workers to commemorate the Haymarket Riots and to join together to celebrate the social and economic achievements of the working class.
So May Day evolved from pagan dance day to Christian “Mary Day” to socialist commemorative day, to Republican loyalty day. It somehow fits that the May Pole was originally (Norse) thought of as an axis connecting the underworld, the real world, and the heavens, since all the various folks who have claimed meanings on this day fit somewhere along that axis, I’m sure. I can picture it now: socialists, children, dancing ladies, republicans, Catholics, and flower children all dancing around the May Pole with their multi-coloured ribbons of dogma. And as they sweep around the pole, two by two, their multi-coloured ribbons join together making a stripped barber pole that draws them closer and closer until they have to touch and even maybe hug each other. Or, maybe they all get tied together on the pole…. Either way, it is a nice thought and maybe that’s what May Day is all about.
These were my dreams as I dozed away my time in dialysis, and then awoke to watch a fascinating NOVA on the secret work of Issac Newton. Somehow all is connected. So it goes.
Notes: In at 75.9 and out at 73.0 (no problems with low BP today) Oh yeah! Now readers can google my blog by typing Jack’s Kidney Adventure in quotes on google and it’ll take ya right there.
* “May Day” retrieved online May 2007 from Wikepedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_Day
4/29/07
127) Bob Wills Day @ Dialysis
April 26, 2007
Saturday
El Milagro: I had called and Phyllis the Nurse said come in at 2:40 or so. Here I am pulling into the parking lot at about 2:45 thinking I have been taking advantage of the flexibility about chair time by coming in late too frequently. Now I am one of those people I used to complain about when I started: the people who meander in here whenever they damn well please. Hum? Is it the entitlement of the one-year-tenured-patient syndrome? Or am I just becoming lackadaisical about getting to a place where I get stuck with needles, sit around feeling my butt ache, and my legs twitch? I'll have to ponder this (Al and Richard: remember Ponder?).
Today is
Bob Wills day up in Turkey, Texas. Damn! I’d like to be there too rather than sitting here attached to this machine. Old Steve the crazy English keyboard guy might be there. Today the population of Turkey goes from 500 up to about 9500 and the current Texas Playboys with Johnny Gimble raise their fiddles in honor of “the King”.*
Crystal the Tall Tech cannulates me and we briefly discuss our views about seeing reality, living in San Marcos, and being happy that school is almost over for the summer. Melissa the Perky Tech comes by to check my machine and reports she’ll be on the third shift next month. Ron the Nurse, remembering my last session, asks Melissa to watch my BP and let him know if it goes down below 100. Chris the Tech is here today too, with his loud and somewhat depreciating comments shouted across the room to other techs. I believe that in Chris’ world he is raising the spirit of the place with his antics. Its as if he is a sales rep for poseur. And, he should be able to exist in the world with the rest of us… I would only wish he’d whisper.
According to an overheard conversation Ron is having with another patient, there won’t be many chairs on our shift since we are taking on new patients. I see one today, I think. He is a Hispanic guy with a long braided tail down his back, and a yellow shirt. He evidently was here years ago, cause Carol asks him how he’s feeling and... it’s not well. He’s in the corner today, hidden behind a column, so I can’t observe him much. It’s like a grocery store in here today… people coming and going with their blue baskets of paraphernalia. Someone’s eating something I smell faintly… like in a grocery.
I’m reading the new Alex Delaware novel and am totally involved in it. Picked it up in the airport in Lubbock last week. Bad choice, money wise. I paid airport bookstore prices… but I couldn’t help myself. I’m cruising the store tiredly, looking around at the new political tomes and all of a sudden my eyes fall cross the thick new Kellerman** book and its as if it FLASHED neon at me. I was drawn to it hypnotically and HAD to buy it, even at the outrageous airport price. Oh well. I heard on TV last night that I am in the middle of the richest population yet; the middle-aged 60 year old baby-boomers. We buy books in airport bookstores and don’t blink an eye. So there!
Notes: In at 75.5 and out at 72.3... and my BP stayed around normal the whole time.
* “Turkey Will Swing This Weekend” retrieved April 2007 from the Amarillo Globe-News website, http://getout.amarillo.com/content/outings/042707_bobwillsday.shtml
** Jonathan Kellerman retrieved online April 2007 from http://www.jonathankellerman.com/
Saturday
El Milagro: I had called and Phyllis the Nurse said come in at 2:40 or so. Here I am pulling into the parking lot at about 2:45 thinking I have been taking advantage of the flexibility about chair time by coming in late too frequently. Now I am one of those people I used to complain about when I started: the people who meander in here whenever they damn well please. Hum? Is it the entitlement of the one-year-tenured-patient syndrome? Or am I just becoming lackadaisical about getting to a place where I get stuck with needles, sit around feeling my butt ache, and my legs twitch? I'll have to ponder this (Al and Richard: remember Ponder?).
Today is
Bob Wills day up in Turkey, Texas. Damn! I’d like to be there too rather than sitting here attached to this machine. Old Steve the crazy English keyboard guy might be there. Today the population of Turkey goes from 500 up to about 9500 and the current Texas Playboys with Johnny Gimble raise their fiddles in honor of “the King”.*Crystal the Tall Tech cannulates me and we briefly discuss our views about seeing reality, living in San Marcos, and being happy that school is almost over for the summer. Melissa the Perky Tech comes by to check my machine and reports she’ll be on the third shift next month. Ron the Nurse, remembering my last session, asks Melissa to watch my BP and let him know if it goes down below 100. Chris the Tech is here today too, with his loud and somewhat depreciating comments shouted across the room to other techs. I believe that in Chris’ world he is raising the spirit of the place with his antics. Its as if he is a sales rep for poseur. And, he should be able to exist in the world with the rest of us… I would only wish he’d whisper.
According to an overheard conversation Ron is having with another patient, there won’t be many chairs on our shift since we are taking on new patients. I see one today, I think. He is a Hispanic guy with a long braided tail down his back, and a yellow shirt. He evidently was here years ago, cause Carol asks him how he’s feeling and... it’s not well. He’s in the corner today, hidden behind a column, so I can’t observe him much. It’s like a grocery store in here today… people coming and going with their blue baskets of paraphernalia. Someone’s eating something I smell faintly… like in a grocery.
I’m reading the new Alex Delaware novel and am totally involved in it. Picked it up in the airport in Lubbock last week. Bad choice, money wise. I paid airport bookstore prices… but I couldn’t help myself. I’m cruising the store tiredly, looking around at the new political tomes and all of a sudden my eyes fall cross the thick new Kellerman** book and its as if it FLASHED neon at me. I was drawn to it hypnotically and HAD to buy it, even at the outrageous airport price. Oh well. I heard on TV last night that I am in the middle of the richest population yet; the middle-aged 60 year old baby-boomers. We buy books in airport bookstores and don’t blink an eye. So there!
Notes: In at 75.5 and out at 72.3... and my BP stayed around normal the whole time.
* “Turkey Will Swing This Weekend” retrieved April 2007 from the Amarillo Globe-News website, http://getout.amarillo.com/content/outings/042707_bobwillsday.shtml
** Jonathan Kellerman retrieved online April 2007 from http://www.jonathankellerman.com/
4/28/07
126) The Good with the Bad
April 26, 2007
Thursday
El Milagro: Got here late at 4:30 today, after driving in fast from Corpus Christi. This dialysis business doesn’t always mix well with the life of a traveling training troubadour. My BP is 142 over something: San Antonio corridor traffic stress + 80 mph, no doubt. I weighed in at 76.2 (that’s 167 lbs. folks) after two days of gorging myself on sea food at Snoopy’s*
and Doc’s. I’m sorry I ate that last bite, but not much.
So, I’m late, and heavy and Carol the Tech negotiates with me to only take off 3 and save the rest til Saturday. I tell her I’m sorry she’ll have to stay til 9 and she says “thanks” and adds, “We’re setting you to finish with the others, since we have to flush the frazzletops tonight.” “Cool!” I reply. Nice tech!
Thursday
El Milagro: Got here late at 4:30 today, after driving in fast from Corpus Christi. This dialysis business doesn’t always mix well with the life of a traveling training troubadour. My BP is 142 over something: San Antonio corridor traffic stress + 80 mph, no doubt. I weighed in at 76.2 (that’s 167 lbs. folks) after two days of gorging myself on sea food at Snoopy’s*
and Doc’s. I’m sorry I ate that last bite, but not much. So, I’m late, and heavy and Carol the Tech negotiates with me to only take off 3 and save the rest til Saturday. I tell her I’m sorry she’ll have to stay til 9 and she says “thanks” and adds, “We’re setting you to finish with the others, since we have to flush the frazzletops tonight.” “Cool!” I reply. Nice tech!
So it comes to the fact that we are living in an ordered universe. We run around trying our best to make our appointments, as if our miniscule activity can change the flow of time, or influence the grand scheme that ticks along at it's own majestic pace. When will we realize that we are but pawns in the grand scheme of things? When will be sit back and accept that we will fit into the flow of the Universe in just the way we are supposed to? All the way back from Corpus from the time the girls were getting shrimp sandwiches at Snoopy's on our way out I was saying to myself, "We will move along at our own pace because we just have to keep moving. We will be on time or we will be late. It's just what it is. All things are already perfect and let's not fight it." We are not correcting course to have control, but to stay in the flow of the universe. The sooner we realize that the better off we are. 'Nam myoho renge kyo'... [all things according to (the Universe's flow)]
I settle in for a snooze after the long road trip and wake up for Survivor, of course. My boy Yao Man** is still doing well and that is enjoyable to observe. And then at about 7:50 pm my machine blinks it’s beeping and I’m done. Boy, three hours seems a LOT shorter than four hours. I am holding my poke holes for 10 minutes before Carol tapes them up, and zippo…. I’m outa there and on my way home.
Notes: In at 76.2 and out at 73.5.
* Snoopy’s retrieved online April 2007 from http://travel.yahoo.com/p-travelguide-3005289-snoopy_s_pier_corpus_christi-i
** Yao Man retrieved online April 2007 from http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor14/survivors/yau_man.shtml
(From My Memory)
April 24, 2007
Tuesday
Now it’s history and fading fast in my memory… but, last Tuesday was a horrible session. I can remember the feelings more than the actual events, although I reported them to several people the next day. As in other yucky sessions, I started feeling faint and clammy near the end of my session. My BP was down to 84 over 56 or some way low numbers and my feet were starting to cramp. Ron was the nurse on duty and Mat was the tech. Matt originally stopped the cleansing process and just ran the blood through the dialyzer but that didn’t work. Then they added some liquid and that didn’t help. Then Ron gave me some hot, salty chicken broth and that tasted terrible; like chicken broth ala salt block: picture a salt cup filled with thick chicken broth. Pffft! Finally, my BP raised to about 105 over something and I was able to stand up and wobble around. I got outa there about 8:45 and navigated home, only to crash out on the couch, totally wasted. In my delirious dreams my son, Johnny, is lecturing me: “We gotta take the good with the bad, Dad”.
Notes: In at 74.5 and out at 72.6
4/22/07
125) Earth Day 2007
April 21, 2007
Saturday
El Milagro: A new girl tech comes up and says, “May I stick you?” “Sure”, I reply, “…as long as you do a good job. (a few seconds) …and I’ll tell you if you don’t”. <-- I said that! The strengths-based constructivist trainer of hundreds of family counselors across the land! Can you believe it? I didn’t even catch myself in that moment and correct my statement. It was ten to twenty minutes afterwards that I caught myself and then I scolded myself in my brain. Can you see, dear reader, how quickly and unconsciously we all can slip right back into a deficit-based reality? And then we scold ourselves for it internally in a deficit-based stern parent voice. So, I sighed and said in a softer, more accepting voice, “It’s okay Jack. Every slip-up is an opportunity for re-commitment to the way.” I had been able, at least, to say thanks to her as she computo-doc’d my cannulation. That was more of a habit. And it is a good habit, I maintain, to thank all people who serve us in any way at all.
I was able to climb out of my kiva of gloom. Internally I sometimes imagine the above kinds of thought-u-lations as some sort of internal gnashing and cleansing and visioning such as our native peoples did in their subterranean kivas*. I am taken down there into the lower middle region of my own personal self brain/heart and wrestle around with my critical self (critical parent, negativity, glass half emptyness) in the dark shadowland. And as the fire gets going in the middle I quit the fight, settle into a long sigh meditation, and let it all out. Then comes the part where I jump up and run around crazy in the firelight and the shadows dance accross the hierglphed wall. I get speared with visions of possibility, and then cleansed by sweating out the demons of deficit, and finally am encouraged by the great spirit. Then I climb back out into the sunlight of a crystal clear New Mexico desert.
I am one of the last people to get dialysized today because I’ve been working on Katie’s Graduation Announcement. It is a quiet Saturday: I listen to KUT Live Set, snooze-a-nopolis, and then watch the first hour of Roman Holiday. Boy! Those were the days!
Update Since Last Post: Since my last post things have been the same and different… kind of like life in general. I got a good blood work report; both Potassium and Phosphorus are GOOD! (Phosphorous was 4.7 [3.5 to 5.5 is normal] and Potassium was 4.9 [3.5 to 5.5 is normal]). A few staff have left the center (Diane said goodbye to me and ensured me she is going to a better job) and maybe there are some new ones, like the young woman who stuck me today. It’s hard to tell. I ask a nurse, “Are you new?” and they reply “Only today”. I think new staff should go around and introduce themselves to the patients.
A guy that started dialysis around the same time as me has left the planet (He was a kinda scroungy looking guy who had a old worn quilt he dragged in and out with him and he reminded me of Linus in Peanuts). According to the gossip, he had open heart surgery, started missing his dialysis, and was found dead on his living room floor. Another old person passed away too, but I don’t know much about that one. We are a group of patients who pass through the center as most of the staff stand around serving us in the moment. And then we are gone. Some of us die and move onward in that frame. And a few of us get a new kidney and go back out into the world, like we are running out to recess. So it goes.
My yearly report still rests in my old G3 sitting over at Mac Alliance waiting for someone to merge the hard drive into our new silver tower Mac OS 10.something. When I get it, you’ll get it.
Notes: In at 73.4 and out at 72. (Blood pressure is more normal low rather than low low.)
* “Kiva” retrieved online April 2007 from Wikepedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiva
Saturday
El Milagro: A new girl tech comes up and says, “May I stick you?” “Sure”, I reply, “…as long as you do a good job. (a few seconds) …and I’ll tell you if you don’t”. <-- I said that! The strengths-based constructivist trainer of hundreds of family counselors across the land! Can you believe it? I didn’t even catch myself in that moment and correct my statement. It was ten to twenty minutes afterwards that I caught myself and then I scolded myself in my brain. Can you see, dear reader, how quickly and unconsciously we all can slip right back into a deficit-based reality? And then we scold ourselves for it internally in a deficit-based stern parent voice. So, I sighed and said in a softer, more accepting voice, “It’s okay Jack. Every slip-up is an opportunity for re-commitment to the way.” I had been able, at least, to say thanks to her as she computo-doc’d my cannulation. That was more of a habit. And it is a good habit, I maintain, to thank all people who serve us in any way at all.
I was able to climb out of my kiva of gloom. Internally I sometimes imagine the above kinds of thought-u-lations as some sort of internal gnashing and cleansing and visioning such as our native peoples did in their subterranean kivas*. I am taken down there into the lower middle region of my own personal self brain/heart and wrestle around with my critical self (critical parent, negativity, glass half emptyness) in the dark shadowland. And as the fire gets going in the middle I quit the fight, settle into a long sigh meditation, and let it all out. Then comes the part where I jump up and run around crazy in the firelight and the shadows dance accross the hierglphed wall. I get speared with visions of possibility, and then cleansed by sweating out the demons of deficit, and finally am encouraged by the great spirit. Then I climb back out into the sunlight of a crystal clear New Mexico desert.
I am one of the last people to get dialysized today because I’ve been working on Katie’s Graduation Announcement. It is a quiet Saturday: I listen to KUT Live Set, snooze-a-nopolis, and then watch the first hour of Roman Holiday. Boy! Those were the days!
Update Since Last Post: Since my last post things have been the same and different… kind of like life in general. I got a good blood work report; both Potassium and Phosphorus are GOOD! (Phosphorous was 4.7 [3.5 to 5.5 is normal] and Potassium was 4.9 [3.5 to 5.5 is normal]). A few staff have left the center (Diane said goodbye to me and ensured me she is going to a better job) and maybe there are some new ones, like the young woman who stuck me today. It’s hard to tell. I ask a nurse, “Are you new?” and they reply “Only today”. I think new staff should go around and introduce themselves to the patients.
A guy that started dialysis around the same time as me has left the planet (He was a kinda scroungy looking guy who had a old worn quilt he dragged in and out with him and he reminded me of Linus in Peanuts). According to the gossip, he had open heart surgery, started missing his dialysis, and was found dead on his living room floor. Another old person passed away too, but I don’t know much about that one. We are a group of patients who pass through the center as most of the staff stand around serving us in the moment. And then we are gone. Some of us die and move onward in that frame. And a few of us get a new kidney and go back out into the world, like we are running out to recess. So it goes.
My yearly report still rests in my old G3 sitting over at Mac Alliance waiting for someone to merge the hard drive into our new silver tower Mac OS 10.something. When I get it, you’ll get it.
Notes: In at 73.4 and out at 72. (Blood pressure is more normal low rather than low low.)
* “Kiva” retrieved online April 2007 from Wikepedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiva
4/12/07
124) One Year on Dialysis!
April 12, 2007
Thursday
Note: I have been considering my experiences over the last dialysistic year and began to draft a post about them and then my computer's hard drive crashed, so now you have to wait, dear reader. Soon I will be able to salvage some data from that old disc and transfer it to my new computer. Then I will transfer my musings up to this anniversary post. Stay tuned. <-- New ONE YEAR musings at the end of this post, added 8-29-07!
Also, yesterday, on my anniversar
y, Kurt Vonnegut died. This blog’s readers have no doubt seen many Vonnegut quotes throughout the posts, and it is only fitting to commemorate Vonnegut by remembering his thought on our purpose on the planet: "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different."* The picture above was the only one I could steal from Google Images that showed the old geezer with wings, which I thought highly apropos.
El Milagro: Today Gladys cannulated me and Phyllis the Nurse stethed me. I sounded good to her. I told her about Vonnegut and we got into a discussion about all his great books, and then similar books, and then she asked what my favorite book ever is. I stopped and thought for a minute: “Wow there are so many excellent books… which one to pick right at this moment… which will come to mind first?” and I replied, “Duh! ……………………The Grapes of Wrath.” She hummpfed and said something like, “Makes sense”. She believes a person's favorite book is like a short personality profile of the reader. But I think you can't judge a book by looking at it's reader. Her favorite is one I can’t quite remember right now. The title is up there in my fuzzy brain somewhere, shifting about making itself almost known to me, but not quite clearly enough to label and spit out. I must find out from her and include it in this post. We both went on for awhile listing off favorite books, mine including The Glass Bead Game, Breakfast of Champions, Incarnations of Immortality, Illusions, etc. She did so too and we compared our picks. Phyllis and I don’t talk much these days and I miss that… but the place has become very busy for the nurses, so it seems she just shoots around from patient to computer to the back of the counter. The nurse's movement is similar to a pin-ball in a wacky game where the chairs are the pop bumpers and the front counter is a kicking rubber, and the staff are the balls being flipped around by the beeping machines, which of course are the jumbo flippers.
Survivor is on tonight and I begin watching it and then doze off in the middle. Dozing off during Survivor? it must be getting too boring for even me, one of their two staunch surviving watchers. I slept through the part where they divvyed up the one tribe into two teams and had the immunity challenge. I woke up to see 4 disappointed survivors heading up the trail to tribal council and then, after a short Q/A about who likes who, one got their flame snuffed. So it goes.
Notes: In at 75. and out at 72.8 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 10 over -20. (gniddik tsuj)
* Robinson, M. (2007) Kurt Vonnegut dead at 84. Retrieved from the Washington Post website at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/12/AR2007041201159.html
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
So, how can I characterize this past year? It has been a real drag on the family. The older kids worry about my health and Katie has even ruminated about her fears with her friends. Liz has had to adjust her whole life around my various disabilities, diets, medications, and schedules. And Shayna, on some level has to be careful how close she gets to her daddy (<-- my hallucination).
Anytime a long-term chronic medical condition invades a family it becomes a daily reminder of the fragility of life. We who have this daily reminder (like the fickle finger of fate) can likely think it is by the grace of God (Buddha, Brahman, Shiva, etc.) that we ae here every day to enjoy living. The sense of control and future planning of our lives is shattered. We no longer have control and we are reminded of that fact daily when we take our 10 to 12 meds and when we do our time on the machine of life.
When I had no ESRD I ofen went for months at a time without thinking of my mortality or having the spectre of death wiggling it's woeful way into my schema of life. These are my thoughts on my anniversary of starting dialysis.
Thursday
Note: I have been considering my experiences over the last dialysistic year and began to draft a post about them and then my computer's hard drive crashed, so now you have to wait, dear reader. Soon I will be able to salvage some data from that old disc and transfer it to my new computer. Then I will transfer my musings up to this anniversary post. Stay tuned. <-- New ONE YEAR musings at the end of this post, added 8-29-07!
Also, yesterday, on my anniversar
y, Kurt Vonnegut died. This blog’s readers have no doubt seen many Vonnegut quotes throughout the posts, and it is only fitting to commemorate Vonnegut by remembering his thought on our purpose on the planet: "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different."* The picture above was the only one I could steal from Google Images that showed the old geezer with wings, which I thought highly apropos.El Milagro: Today Gladys cannulated me and Phyllis the Nurse stethed me. I sounded good to her. I told her about Vonnegut and we got into a discussion about all his great books, and then similar books, and then she asked what my favorite book ever is. I stopped and thought for a minute: “Wow there are so many excellent books… which one to pick right at this moment… which will come to mind first?” and I replied, “Duh! ……………………The Grapes of Wrath.” She hummpfed and said something like, “Makes sense”. She believes a person's favorite book is like a short personality profile of the reader. But I think you can't judge a book by looking at it's reader. Her favorite is one I can’t quite remember right now. The title is up there in my fuzzy brain somewhere, shifting about making itself almost known to me, but not quite clearly enough to label and spit out. I must find out from her and include it in this post. We both went on for awhile listing off favorite books, mine including The Glass Bead Game, Breakfast of Champions, Incarnations of Immortality, Illusions, etc. She did so too and we compared our picks. Phyllis and I don’t talk much these days and I miss that… but the place has become very busy for the nurses, so it seems she just shoots around from patient to computer to the back of the counter. The nurse's movement is similar to a pin-ball in a wacky game where the chairs are the pop bumpers and the front counter is a kicking rubber, and the staff are the balls being flipped around by the beeping machines, which of course are the jumbo flippers.
Survivor is on tonight and I begin watching it and then doze off in the middle. Dozing off during Survivor? it must be getting too boring for even me, one of their two staunch surviving watchers. I slept through the part where they divvyed up the one tribe into two teams and had the immunity challenge. I woke up to see 4 disappointed survivors heading up the trail to tribal council and then, after a short Q/A about who likes who, one got their flame snuffed. So it goes.
Notes: In at 75. and out at 72.8 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 10 over -20. (gniddik tsuj)
* Robinson, M. (2007) Kurt Vonnegut dead at 84. Retrieved from the Washington Post website at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/12/AR2007041201159.html
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
So, how can I characterize this past year? It has been a real drag on the family. The older kids worry about my health and Katie has even ruminated about her fears with her friends. Liz has had to adjust her whole life around my various disabilities, diets, medications, and schedules. And Shayna, on some level has to be careful how close she gets to her daddy (<-- my hallucination).
Anytime a long-term chronic medical condition invades a family it becomes a daily reminder of the fragility of life. We who have this daily reminder (like the fickle finger of fate) can likely think it is by the grace of God (Buddha, Brahman, Shiva, etc.) that we ae here every day to enjoy living. The sense of control and future planning of our lives is shattered. We no longer have control and we are reminded of that fact daily when we take our 10 to 12 meds and when we do our time on the machine of life.
When I had no ESRD I ofen went for months at a time without thinking of my mortality or having the spectre of death wiggling it's woeful way into my schema of life. These are my thoughts on my anniversary of starting dialysis.
4/11/07
123) Of Tylenol & Cuttlefish
April 10, 2007
Tuesday
El Milagro: Today Matt cannulates me. Dr. Venkatesh comes by with the crew doing rounds and answers my question about taking Tylenol for arthritis in my hand. She says it’s okay. I’m guessing now that old Moritz has given up doing the rounds, maybe because he got a bad rap on City Search: “…Dr. Moritz('s) ...bedside manner was appalling. He was often grumpy, humorless and seemed distracted -- as if he would rather be somewhere else. When I expressed concern about discomfort during a procedure, he actually scoffed at me, telling me "I did this procedure on a 28-year-old woman yesterday and SHE didn't need any pain medication."” Now ya can just see Moritz in this conversation and it does sound just like him. But, he thinks he's being cute and charming when he does that stuff. What a doc.
I napped until the News and then watched NOVA. Tonight was a fascinating segment about the mysterious cuttlefish* and their visual tricks. According to the narrator, this sea animal may be the closest thing to what we might find on an alien world. Wow: an alien-type thingy right in our back ocean! I am always amazed at the ways different species have evolved to exist and even flourish in this world, and believe me, the cuttlefish takes
the cake. This fish (actually it’s a cephalopod) would be happy on the streets of Las Vegas… if Las Vegas streets were water… and if, under the water, the neon lights still worked. Cuttlefish actually look like a moving neon sign with flashing stripes kinda like the syncopated light bulbs that make arrows pointing at motels. Or, like zebras with stripes moving from their heads on back over their bodies and off their tails. These fish hypnotize crabs and zap them with their tongue-like tentacles.... very cool.
And, so it goes on a Tuesday night at the dialysis center.
Notes: In at 75.5 and out at 72.8 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 116 / 66.
* Kings of Camouflage. Retrieved online April ’07 from the NOVA website, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/camo/change.html#ch03
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
Tuesday
El Milagro: Today Matt cannulates me. Dr. Venkatesh comes by with the crew doing rounds and answers my question about taking Tylenol for arthritis in my hand. She says it’s okay. I’m guessing now that old Moritz has given up doing the rounds, maybe because he got a bad rap on City Search: “…Dr. Moritz('s) ...bedside manner was appalling. He was often grumpy, humorless and seemed distracted -- as if he would rather be somewhere else. When I expressed concern about discomfort during a procedure, he actually scoffed at me, telling me "I did this procedure on a 28-year-old woman yesterday and SHE didn't need any pain medication."” Now ya can just see Moritz in this conversation and it does sound just like him. But, he thinks he's being cute and charming when he does that stuff. What a doc.
I napped until the News and then watched NOVA. Tonight was a fascinating segment about the mysterious cuttlefish* and their visual tricks. According to the narrator, this sea animal may be the closest thing to what we might find on an alien world. Wow: an alien-type thingy right in our back ocean! I am always amazed at the ways different species have evolved to exist and even flourish in this world, and believe me, the cuttlefish takes
the cake. This fish (actually it’s a cephalopod) would be happy on the streets of Las Vegas… if Las Vegas streets were water… and if, under the water, the neon lights still worked. Cuttlefish actually look like a moving neon sign with flashing stripes kinda like the syncopated light bulbs that make arrows pointing at motels. Or, like zebras with stripes moving from their heads on back over their bodies and off their tails. These fish hypnotize crabs and zap them with their tongue-like tentacles.... very cool.
And, so it goes on a Tuesday night at the dialysis center.
Notes: In at 75.5 and out at 72.8 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 116 / 66.
* Kings of Camouflage. Retrieved online April ’07 from the NOVA website, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/camo/change.html#ch03
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
4/8/07
122) Low BP Saturday
April 7, 2007
Saturday
El Milagro: I had called earlier and talked to Phyllis the Nurse and arranged to come in at 1 pm. So, I arrive at 1:05 pm and they stop me at the door with "Hold on... we're not ready... they're just now pulling the needles on the person in your chair... it'll be a few minutes." So I turn around and retreat to the waiting room and sit and begin to watch Madagascar which is fairly watchable. There I sit for 45 minutes watching and waiting.
Finally get called in at almost 2 and get hooked up. My beginning BP is 108 over 59 and I'm feeling fine. I finish watching the movie and then flip over to the Master's to watch Tiger and company. Tiger isn't playing so hot, but always great to watch. By the time I'm done, I'm ready to get outa there cause with the 45 minute wait, my session is extended to 6 and a half hours.... way too long to spend in dialysis.
Afterwards we went out to eat with the relations at Romeo's and that was nice.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click:
http://jakidney.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html
Notes: In at 75.2 and out at 72.7 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 102 / 57.
Saturday
El Milagro: I had called earlier and talked to Phyllis the Nurse and arranged to come in at 1 pm. So, I arrive at 1:05 pm and they stop me at the door with "Hold on... we're not ready... they're just now pulling the needles on the person in your chair... it'll be a few minutes." So I turn around and retreat to the waiting room and sit and begin to watch Madagascar which is fairly watchable. There I sit for 45 minutes watching and waiting.
Finally get called in at almost 2 and get hooked up. My beginning BP is 108 over 59 and I'm feeling fine. I finish watching the movie and then flip over to the Master's to watch Tiger and company. Tiger isn't playing so hot, but always great to watch. By the time I'm done, I'm ready to get outa there cause with the 45 minute wait, my session is extended to 6 and a half hours.... way too long to spend in dialysis.
Afterwards we went out to eat with the relations at Romeo's and that was nice.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click:
http://jakidney.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html
Notes: In at 75.2 and out at 72.7 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 102 / 57.
4/6/07
121) Yao Man Chan
April 5, 2007
Thursday
El Milagro: Today Diane checks my BP before sticking me and its 110 / 48! That is really weirdly low! It seems weird to the machine too, as it beeps and flashes a RED warning that the BP is too low. I sit down and the sitting BP goes up to 116 / 60 something. The techs ask me if I feel dizzy or faint and I don’t, so they “know nothing” (Like Sgt. Schultz** in Hogan’s Heroes) and just shrug their shoulders. So, what a way to start a session. Inside my head there are nameless worries running around screaming like unruly kids. Of course, these worries could be good for raising my BP. According to Medline Plus*, low BP is 90 / 60, so I guess that mine isn’t so bad after all.
I try to chill out by listening to All Things Considered and then snooze thru the News. I do wake up for Survivor, although it just doesn’t attract me like it used to. I am only fascinated by one character; Yao Man Chan***, a computer engineer from California. This 54 year old has a young heart, sharp intellect, and is able to think things through well and find creative solutions to get the job done. In tonight’s somewhat physical activity of using Fijian blowguns, spears, and bow and arrows to shoot at targets most of the participants just picked up the tools and used them without any forethought or consideration what-so-ever. Yao Man picked each implement up, studied it carefully, thought about the instrument and his physical stature and strength, and then used his analysis to combine tool and tact and he actually hit each target. With the arrows, he went through the pile and selected one that was the straightest. To me its neat to see this older guy outthink the young lugs in the pack of survivor wanna-be’s. Unlike earlier series where there have been several people to watch and cheer on, this one only has one person worth watching, from my humble perspective. So this is what I write about today… which suggests there ain’t much of interest going on here in dialy-land. Such is Life in Life-Alysis.
Later: Now when you click on the article on selling kidneys (see last post), there is a link to an article against that practice. The link is as follows:
Jha, V. & Chugh, K. S. (2006) The case against a regulated system of living kidney sales. Nature Clinical Practice Nephrology (2)9, 466-467, retrieved online April 2007 from
http://abcnews.go.com/images/WNT/The%20case%20against%20a%20regulated%20system.pdf
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click:
http://jakidney.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html
Notes: In at 74.6 and out at 72.8 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 132 / 69.
*“Low Blood Pressure” retrieved April 2007 online from the Medline Plus website: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/lowbloodpressure.html
** “Sergeant Schultz” retrieved April 2007 online from the Wikipedia website:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogan's_Heroes#Sergeant_Schultz
*** “Yao Man Chan” retrieved April 2007 online from Survivor website:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor14/survivors/yau_man.shtml
Thursday
El Milagro: Today Diane checks my BP before sticking me and its 110 / 48! That is really weirdly low! It seems weird to the machine too, as it beeps and flashes a RED warning that the BP is too low. I sit down and the sitting BP goes up to 116 / 60 something. The techs ask me if I feel dizzy or faint and I don’t, so they “know nothing” (Like Sgt. Schultz** in Hogan’s Heroes) and just shrug their shoulders. So, what a way to start a session. Inside my head there are nameless worries running around screaming like unruly kids. Of course, these worries could be good for raising my BP. According to Medline Plus*, low BP is 90 / 60, so I guess that mine isn’t so bad after all.
I try to chill out by listening to All Things Considered and then snooze thru the News. I do wake up for Survivor, although it just doesn’t attract me like it used to. I am only fascinated by one character; Yao Man Chan***, a computer engineer from California. This 54 year old has a young heart, sharp intellect, and is able to think things through well and find creative solutions to get the job done. In tonight’s somewhat physical activity of using Fijian blowguns, spears, and bow and arrows to shoot at targets most of the participants just picked up the tools and used them without any forethought or consideration what-so-ever. Yao Man picked each implement up, studied it carefully, thought about the instrument and his physical stature and strength, and then used his analysis to combine tool and tact and he actually hit each target. With the arrows, he went through the pile and selected one that was the straightest. To me its neat to see this older guy outthink the young lugs in the pack of survivor wanna-be’s. Unlike earlier series where there have been several people to watch and cheer on, this one only has one person worth watching, from my humble perspective. So this is what I write about today… which suggests there ain’t much of interest going on here in dialy-land. Such is Life in Life-Alysis.
Later: Now when you click on the article on selling kidneys (see last post), there is a link to an article against that practice. The link is as follows:
Jha, V. & Chugh, K. S. (2006) The case against a regulated system of living kidney sales. Nature Clinical Practice Nephrology (2)9, 466-467, retrieved online April 2007 from
http://abcnews.go.com/images/WNT/The%20case%20against%20a%20regulated%20system.pdf
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click:
http://jakidney.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html
Notes: In at 74.6 and out at 72.8 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 132 / 69.
*“Low Blood Pressure” retrieved April 2007 online from the Medline Plus website: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/lowbloodpressure.html
** “Sergeant Schultz” retrieved April 2007 online from the Wikipedia website:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogan's_Heroes#Sergeant_Schultz
*** “Yao Man Chan” retrieved April 2007 online from Survivor website:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor14/survivors/yau_man.shtml
4/4/07
120) Consumed with Thought
April 3, 2007
Tuesday
El Milagro: Today I get cannulated by Diane as Nicholas the Doc, Jennifer the Dietician, and Jo the Nurse are doing a quick rounds. I report to the Doc about my low BP recently and he asks a few questions and suggests I stay at my current dose of BP meds. Jennifer asks if I have been checking my BP at home and work and I excuse myself by saying I can’t find my BP monitor. I really must get to doing that.
It’s a pretty nothing session today. I listen to All Things Considered, watch the News, and through it all I am consumed with thinking about my request for colleagues to respond to the last post on purchasing kidneys. I think that paying for kidneys is a creative and interesting idea and know that my own need for a kidney probably muddies my objective thoughts about the ethics of such a policy. I hope my friends respond with their thoughts. My intent with this little project is to get a broad range of beliefs and thoughts on this issue and post them; partly to inform my own thoughts, and partly to add a considered set of ideas to the blogosphere.
Finally I drift off to sleep for a good portion of tonight’s session. So it goes.
Notes: In at 75.6 and out at 72.9 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 108 / 65.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
Tuesday
El Milagro: Today I get cannulated by Diane as Nicholas the Doc, Jennifer the Dietician, and Jo the Nurse are doing a quick rounds. I report to the Doc about my low BP recently and he asks a few questions and suggests I stay at my current dose of BP meds. Jennifer asks if I have been checking my BP at home and work and I excuse myself by saying I can’t find my BP monitor. I really must get to doing that.
It’s a pretty nothing session today. I listen to All Things Considered, watch the News, and through it all I am consumed with thinking about my request for colleagues to respond to the last post on purchasing kidneys. I think that paying for kidneys is a creative and interesting idea and know that my own need for a kidney probably muddies my objective thoughts about the ethics of such a policy. I hope my friends respond with their thoughts. My intent with this little project is to get a broad range of beliefs and thoughts on this issue and post them; partly to inform my own thoughts, and partly to add a considered set of ideas to the blogosphere.
Finally I drift off to sleep for a good portion of tonight’s session. So it goes.
Notes: In at 75.6 and out at 72.9 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 108 / 65.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
4/1/07
119) Kidneys for Sale!
March 31, 2007
Saturday
El Milagro: Today I get here at 2:15 or so; late for my 2:00 pm chair time. Carol got me ready for sticking but Herman stuck me today, for some unknown reason. I told him that they were adding sodium and that I didn’t really understand it, and he said, “The only thing you have to remember is that sodium attracts fluid.” Further, he explained that when they add sodium to your blood the process of it attracting water pulls the fluid into the blood stream, which builds pressure, which raises your blood pressure. When people’s BP goes way low they can quickly raise it by adding sodium. This is the same logic behind limiting sodium when people have high blood pressure… because it attracts fluid which increase the pressure. Okay. Now I get it. In exchange, I told Herman about adding lots of sodium (salt) to a glass of ice water at restaurants, and then stirring it furiously to freeze the glass to the table so the waitress spills it when picking it up. He laughed and said he’d like to try that trick.
I was surfing through the channels and found a movie about 1965 high school seniors in turmoil (There Goes My Baby) with lots of great hot rods and music. This movie is a 3-year later version of American Graffiti and one of the subplots has to do with a girl trying to decide to go away to college or stay in LA. After that shot of nostalgia I surfed on into the home repair / cooking channels and settled on a show (Sell This House) about fixing up your house (house staging) to sell… pretty interesting quick fixes on a budget even I could agree with.
And then the news was on (ABC), and right towards the end there was a story that I got the staff to listen to. The head doc of the American Society of Transplant Surgeons* wants the country to start BUYING kidneys! That’s right folks! Step right up and sell your healthy kidney to one of the 70,000 people who need one. All we need to do is to legislate it, and then regulate it, and then make sure the insurance companies don’t make too much profit. And, more importantly, we have to ensure all healthy people are offered the same opportunity to sell a kidney, and that all are evaluated medically and psychologically in the same ways before being accepted into such a program. Creating this type of program would put the unethical kidney transplant industry in S.E. Asia and S. America out of business, I would think.
Oh? Am I for it? I would have to say, “Sure”, based on my sense of self-preservation. Ostensibly it would be easier for me to find someone willing to sell their kidney for $60 K than it has been finding someone to give me one of theirs out of altruism. I will have to consider for a time my thoughts on the ethics of such a practice. On the surface of my brain is this notion: as a believer in a woman’s right to abortion, I would have to say that it seems a similar idea that a person has a right to sell a part of their body if it suits them. With the state of the US economy right now, I’m sure there are a lot of people who would like 60 K to buy a house, pay off their debt, send a kid to college. Most of the ethical arguments against might come from the ruling class whose interests are social control, puritan values, and keeping the non-dominant culture in it's place. I'm looking for a comment from Hansie again, it seems. But also, dear readers, put in your 2 cents on this issue / question. Is it ethical to purchase kidneys for transplanting into the 70,000 people awaiting them rather than using our current system, which allows 6000 a year to die waiting for one? I am looking forward to your comments and thoughts on this.
Change Subject: And, last but not least, I must add that yesterday was Liz’s and my anniversary and we went to Jeffrey’s** to eat, which we do every year or so because it’s our favorite restaurant. Well, I had these crispy oysters on yucca root chips with
habanero sauce that were to die for. They came on an elegant foot long by 4” wide white rectangular plate; all lined up like a string of Caribbean islands. Really. It was like flying over those islands that just pop straight up out of the sea. The chip had a fried oyster on it and the fried oyster had a bright lime green sauce with bits of pico de gallo sprinkled on top. The texture was crunchy, the taste was like a Havana + Juarez + San Antonio mix of spice and smooth enveloping a delicately fried oyster. Even this description doesn’t do it justice. But Liz agreed they looked like little islands on a sea of white porcelain. The whole evening was a wonderful anniversary celebration.
Notes: In at 74.2 and out at 72.7 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 110/65.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
* McKenzie, J. People Can Sell Sperm; Why Not Kidneys? Retrieved online March 31st from http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Health/story?id=2977619&page=1
** Jeffrey’s of Austin, retrieved online from http://www.jeffreysofaustin.com/
Saturday
El Milagro: Today I get here at 2:15 or so; late for my 2:00 pm chair time. Carol got me ready for sticking but Herman stuck me today, for some unknown reason. I told him that they were adding sodium and that I didn’t really understand it, and he said, “The only thing you have to remember is that sodium attracts fluid.” Further, he explained that when they add sodium to your blood the process of it attracting water pulls the fluid into the blood stream, which builds pressure, which raises your blood pressure. When people’s BP goes way low they can quickly raise it by adding sodium. This is the same logic behind limiting sodium when people have high blood pressure… because it attracts fluid which increase the pressure. Okay. Now I get it. In exchange, I told Herman about adding lots of sodium (salt) to a glass of ice water at restaurants, and then stirring it furiously to freeze the glass to the table so the waitress spills it when picking it up. He laughed and said he’d like to try that trick.
I was surfing through the channels and found a movie about 1965 high school seniors in turmoil (There Goes My Baby) with lots of great hot rods and music. This movie is a 3-year later version of American Graffiti and one of the subplots has to do with a girl trying to decide to go away to college or stay in LA. After that shot of nostalgia I surfed on into the home repair / cooking channels and settled on a show (Sell This House) about fixing up your house (house staging) to sell… pretty interesting quick fixes on a budget even I could agree with.
And then the news was on (ABC), and right towards the end there was a story that I got the staff to listen to. The head doc of the American Society of Transplant Surgeons* wants the country to start BUYING kidneys! That’s right folks! Step right up and sell your healthy kidney to one of the 70,000 people who need one. All we need to do is to legislate it, and then regulate it, and then make sure the insurance companies don’t make too much profit. And, more importantly, we have to ensure all healthy people are offered the same opportunity to sell a kidney, and that all are evaluated medically and psychologically in the same ways before being accepted into such a program. Creating this type of program would put the unethical kidney transplant industry in S.E. Asia and S. America out of business, I would think.
Oh? Am I for it? I would have to say, “Sure”, based on my sense of self-preservation. Ostensibly it would be easier for me to find someone willing to sell their kidney for $60 K than it has been finding someone to give me one of theirs out of altruism. I will have to consider for a time my thoughts on the ethics of such a practice. On the surface of my brain is this notion: as a believer in a woman’s right to abortion, I would have to say that it seems a similar idea that a person has a right to sell a part of their body if it suits them. With the state of the US economy right now, I’m sure there are a lot of people who would like 60 K to buy a house, pay off their debt, send a kid to college. Most of the ethical arguments against might come from the ruling class whose interests are social control, puritan values, and keeping the non-dominant culture in it's place. I'm looking for a comment from Hansie again, it seems. But also, dear readers, put in your 2 cents on this issue / question. Is it ethical to purchase kidneys for transplanting into the 70,000 people awaiting them rather than using our current system, which allows 6000 a year to die waiting for one? I am looking forward to your comments and thoughts on this.
Change Subject: And, last but not least, I must add that yesterday was Liz’s and my anniversary and we went to Jeffrey’s** to eat, which we do every year or so because it’s our favorite restaurant. Well, I had these crispy oysters on yucca root chips with
habanero sauce that were to die for. They came on an elegant foot long by 4” wide white rectangular plate; all lined up like a string of Caribbean islands. Really. It was like flying over those islands that just pop straight up out of the sea. The chip had a fried oyster on it and the fried oyster had a bright lime green sauce with bits of pico de gallo sprinkled on top. The texture was crunchy, the taste was like a Havana + Juarez + San Antonio mix of spice and smooth enveloping a delicately fried oyster. Even this description doesn’t do it justice. But Liz agreed they looked like little islands on a sea of white porcelain. The whole evening was a wonderful anniversary celebration.Notes: In at 74.2 and out at 72.7 Kgs. Standing BP at the end was 110/65.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
* McKenzie, J. People Can Sell Sperm; Why Not Kidneys? Retrieved online March 31st from http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Health/story?id=2977619&page=1
** Jeffrey’s of Austin, retrieved online from http://www.jeffreysofaustin.com/
3/30/07
118) Frazzle the Sodium
March 29, 2007
Thursday
El Milagro: I tell Phyllis the Nurse and Crystal the Tech my sad story about last session and Phyllis says that she is going to set the machine to "...conglomerate the sodium and fizzle the thing-a-ma-jig". I check my brain to see if it understood, and then I recognize that I have no idea what she just said. I sit there blankly. They compare notes and ideas and speak dialyseeze and I sit there in anticipation; hoping not to have a woozy time of it again. The machine gets poked and dialed, the computer gets pecked, and then I get poked. Crystal efficiently sticks me and we're off and running.
I listen to NPR, then ABC, then doze a little, then watch Survivor (I am now convinced this is the lamest, dullest Survivor series so far) The other day I ran into the one other person who still watches this show and he seemingly agreed with me, although I could tell he is still in love with it, since he only nodded and then went on to applaud one episode. After Survivor I switch channels and watch a bit of Gray’s Anatomy and Crystal shares that it is the only show she tapes to watch after her shift is over.
Around this time I ask Crystal to explain what Phyllis did to adjust the machine and why, and she matter of factly says “Oh. She just set the thing-a-ma-jig to frazzle the sodium”, and I still don’t get it, but now I also don’t care, since I have my after-session zonk going. “Oh” I reply knowingly, nodding my head up and down. I really don’t want more info right now, since the last piece was gobbledygook to my fuzzy brain. (If one of the staff who read this blog would write in to explain this sodium thing, that would be grand.) As I left, my BP was about 118 over something, so I thought that was an improvement over last time.
And so it goes……
Thursday
El Milagro: I tell Phyllis the Nurse and Crystal the Tech my sad story about last session and Phyllis says that she is going to set the machine to "...conglomerate the sodium and fizzle the thing-a-ma-jig". I check my brain to see if it understood, and then I recognize that I have no idea what she just said. I sit there blankly. They compare notes and ideas and speak dialyseeze and I sit there in anticipation; hoping not to have a woozy time of it again. The machine gets poked and dialed, the computer gets pecked, and then I get poked. Crystal efficiently sticks me and we're off and running.
I listen to NPR, then ABC, then doze a little, then watch Survivor (I am now convinced this is the lamest, dullest Survivor series so far) The other day I ran into the one other person who still watches this show and he seemingly agreed with me, although I could tell he is still in love with it, since he only nodded and then went on to applaud one episode. After Survivor I switch channels and watch a bit of Gray’s Anatomy and Crystal shares that it is the only show she tapes to watch after her shift is over.
Around this time I ask Crystal to explain what Phyllis did to adjust the machine and why, and she matter of factly says “Oh. She just set the thing-a-ma-jig to frazzle the sodium”, and I still don’t get it, but now I also don’t care, since I have my after-session zonk going. “Oh” I reply knowingly, nodding my head up and down. I really don’t want more info right now, since the last piece was gobbledygook to my fuzzy brain. (If one of the staff who read this blog would write in to explain this sodium thing, that would be grand.) As I left, my BP was about 118 over something, so I thought that was an improvement over last time.
And so it goes……
Later: My friend, Big Kim, reports that this blog is boring... she doesn't like all the March Maddness and who's sticking me and the "save the world" links, the other "boring" stuff about my every dialysis session. She wants more of my philosophizing and stories and weirdo notions about life on the planet. Well! Let me tell you a funny story about Kimbo... she likes to talk about body functions, so... I promise to write a post in the near future about what dialysis does to urination.
What I said in response to Ms. Kim... "I am documenting the boring, the trivial, the humdrum, and the monotonous. That's the point!"
And I could've added that this is also a report of the repetitious, the tedious, the morbid, the macabre, the absurd, the painful, the bleak, the discouraging, the fetid, the noxious, the debilitated, and the dying. AND it is also a report of the perseverance, the passion for living, the healing of spirit, the acceptance of fate, the elixir vitae of life, the resolve to continue, and the tenacity of folks.
Notes: In at 75.8 and out at 72.9 Kgs.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
3/28/07
117) In Which Jack Gets Woozy
March 27, 2007
Tuesday
El Milagro: I am arriving at the center about 15 to 20 minutes late, having gotten wrapped up in a short project that was actually a “longer-than-anticipated-project”. As I come in, Jo the Nurse reports that the new doc has already done his rounds and he asks her to ask about if I am “okay”. Well, I am. So I’m sure I’m the last person on board, and I find my chair by my name on the dialyzer, and Matt comes over to stick me. He does a quick slick stick and we figure to take off 3.1, putting me at my “dry weight”, 72.8. My beginning BP is about 115 over 70 something. Jo the Nurse comes up and listens to my body with her stethoscope while I’m talking to Matt about something innocuous. Since I have new batteries, I go off into brain land, listening to All Things Considered. With earphones it’s like the voices, music, and the whole radio studio is between my ears, echoing around in my vacuous head. I like that experience.
At 5:30 I switch mediums and watch ABC News and some of the daily news must be lullaby-ish because I drift off into delta-land for awhile, awakening for the last human-interest story. Then I pay attention to the local news; mostly about cars awash in creeks and the amount of rain we’ve received around town (2.5 inches at my house, which gives us a raging creek out back). This is a nice sound at night with the windows open.
About 30 minutes before the end of the session I start feeling clammy and “funny”. I wait a few minutes to see if the feeling fades and it gets woozier, so I call Matt over. He checks my BP and its 72 / 34, which is low enough for really funny feelings. Matt’s first strategy is to stop moving fluid to steady the BP. After a few minutes he takes it again and it is only up slightly. Then he decides to put some fluid back in and that doesn’t really work until he has added 200 cc’s three times, plus adding some sodium which finally brings my BP up to 108 over 60. While he is doing these adjustments I lie there with my eyes closed, wishing I could just take another nap. Jo the Nurse comes around to lend her expertise and approve Matt’s work. She asks if I have gained weight lately or am I eating more. Finally the BP is stabilized at around 110 and Matt is ready to de-cannulate me. He unhooks me and by the time I’m ready to leave, my BP is 114 standing and 111 sitting. So, over all those hours I actually only took off 1 Kg, and now we have to figure out if my dry weight should be raised or if the whole thing was just an anomaly. Now I have something to ask the doc about.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
Tuesday
El Milagro: I am arriving at the center about 15 to 20 minutes late, having gotten wrapped up in a short project that was actually a “longer-than-anticipated-project”. As I come in, Jo the Nurse reports that the new doc has already done his rounds and he asks her to ask about if I am “okay”. Well, I am. So I’m sure I’m the last person on board, and I find my chair by my name on the dialyzer, and Matt comes over to stick me. He does a quick slick stick and we figure to take off 3.1, putting me at my “dry weight”, 72.8. My beginning BP is about 115 over 70 something. Jo the Nurse comes up and listens to my body with her stethoscope while I’m talking to Matt about something innocuous. Since I have new batteries, I go off into brain land, listening to All Things Considered. With earphones it’s like the voices, music, and the whole radio studio is between my ears, echoing around in my vacuous head. I like that experience.
At 5:30 I switch mediums and watch ABC News and some of the daily news must be lullaby-ish because I drift off into delta-land for awhile, awakening for the last human-interest story. Then I pay attention to the local news; mostly about cars awash in creeks and the amount of rain we’ve received around town (2.5 inches at my house, which gives us a raging creek out back). This is a nice sound at night with the windows open.
About 30 minutes before the end of the session I start feeling clammy and “funny”. I wait a few minutes to see if the feeling fades and it gets woozier, so I call Matt over. He checks my BP and its 72 / 34, which is low enough for really funny feelings. Matt’s first strategy is to stop moving fluid to steady the BP. After a few minutes he takes it again and it is only up slightly. Then he decides to put some fluid back in and that doesn’t really work until he has added 200 cc’s three times, plus adding some sodium which finally brings my BP up to 108 over 60. While he is doing these adjustments I lie there with my eyes closed, wishing I could just take another nap. Jo the Nurse comes around to lend her expertise and approve Matt’s work. She asks if I have gained weight lately or am I eating more. Finally the BP is stabilized at around 110 and Matt is ready to de-cannulate me. He unhooks me and by the time I’m ready to leave, my BP is 114 standing and 111 sitting. So, over all those hours I actually only took off 1 Kg, and now we have to figure out if my dry weight should be raised or if the whole thing was just an anomaly. Now I have something to ask the doc about.
Oh, and BTW: My Bracketology is Pure Poop! Only one of my teams made it to the final 4. What a rotten year for my brackets! That's March Maddnes!
Notes: In at 75.9 and out at 74.9 Kgs.New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
3/25/07
116) March Madness Continues
March 24, 2007
Saturday
Morning: Busyness at work has kept me from posting about last Thursday, but I can tell you it was all about March Madness, watching basketball at the center and having the normal “How ya doin?” conversation with the Lt. Fuzz doctor and Ron the Nurse. Jennifer the Dietician was straggling on behind with a mischievous little smile that I hallucinated had a meaning that was known only to her. I was happy to watch A&M get beat by Memphis and it was an exciting game down to the finish. I’ve picked Memphis to play Florida for the national championship so it was good they won against A&M, although it is always good to see A&M lose at anything… those damn Aggies.
Today we challenge other Kerrville Folk Festival* Volunteer Staff to pledge $100 to KUT’s spring pledge drive and Dave Oberman** announces that challenge at 10:55 am for all to hear over the radio waves, calling us “…long time supporters of KUT and Folkways”, making me feel like a team player.
So, in case you’re wondering what a dialysis patient does on a Saturday, before going to have their blood cleansed, today we have spring raking the back yard, a soccer game, cleaning house, and doing laundry on our agenda. Lizzie is off in Marble Falls running a foster parent training so it’s up to me and Shayna to do the chores.
El Milagro: Carol cannulated me and today’s weirdness was about my blood pressure. When she first took it, with me standing, it was 84 over 50 something! I should be laid out flat with that kind of BP. I told Carol, “Nah. That machine is broken cause my BP is never that low.” She took it again and it was like 93 over something, so I sat down and she took it and it was still real low. She commented that it is okay to be low and we went on with the session. Throughout the session the machine automatically checks your BP ever 20 minutes or so. The highest mine registers today is 117 / 76 and by the end of the session, when it is usually at it’s lowest, it is 111 over 65. Usually when it is that low at the end I have some cramping and dizziness but not today. Today I feel just hunky-dory*** and can’t find any internal signs or symptoms of low BP, so it is just WEIRD.
Good thing the BP is low since my first team in the Elite Eight is losing: I picked and want Memphis to topple the Ohio State boys and although Memphis gives them a run for the money, Ohio State pulls it out and wins. Oh well. Then, on comes UCLA and Kansas (our last Big 12 hope) and it is an okay game, although Kansas played worse than I’ve seen them play all year. They aren’t making their shots and although they are tough defenders, the Bruins have Collison, who is playing like a pro today. As Matt is pulling my needles out and patching me up, I watching the score go back and forth and thinking that Kansas still can pull this one out. I rush home to catch the end of the game.
Later: So, Kansas loses and my picks for the final four are slashed by 50%. Yuck!
But, the Kick Kats won their first game of the season so that's GREAT! Shayna's soccer team was so good last season the league put them in against the next older group this season and they hadn't won a game yet (4 down) until today, when they pulled a 4 to 3 upset! La-dee-da.
Notes: In at 73.4 and out at 72.5 Kgs.
* Kerrville Folk Festival 2007 Performers retrieved online from
http://www.kerrvillefolkfestival.com/2007_performers.htm
** Dave Oberman, Folkways retrieved online from KUT http://kut.org/music/show/2
**** “Hunky dory” retreived online March, 2007 from The Phrase Finder at http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/1/messages/2785.html
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
Saturday
Morning: Busyness at work has kept me from posting about last Thursday, but I can tell you it was all about March Madness, watching basketball at the center and having the normal “How ya doin?” conversation with the Lt. Fuzz doctor and Ron the Nurse. Jennifer the Dietician was straggling on behind with a mischievous little smile that I hallucinated had a meaning that was known only to her. I was happy to watch A&M get beat by Memphis and it was an exciting game down to the finish. I’ve picked Memphis to play Florida for the national championship so it was good they won against A&M, although it is always good to see A&M lose at anything… those damn Aggies.
Today we challenge other Kerrville Folk Festival* Volunteer Staff to pledge $100 to KUT’s spring pledge drive and Dave Oberman** announces that challenge at 10:55 am for all to hear over the radio waves, calling us “…long time supporters of KUT and Folkways”, making me feel like a team player.
So, in case you’re wondering what a dialysis patient does on a Saturday, before going to have their blood cleansed, today we have spring raking the back yard, a soccer game, cleaning house, and doing laundry on our agenda. Lizzie is off in Marble Falls running a foster parent training so it’s up to me and Shayna to do the chores.
El Milagro: Carol cannulated me and today’s weirdness was about my blood pressure. When she first took it, with me standing, it was 84 over 50 something! I should be laid out flat with that kind of BP. I told Carol, “Nah. That machine is broken cause my BP is never that low.” She took it again and it was like 93 over something, so I sat down and she took it and it was still real low. She commented that it is okay to be low and we went on with the session. Throughout the session the machine automatically checks your BP ever 20 minutes or so. The highest mine registers today is 117 / 76 and by the end of the session, when it is usually at it’s lowest, it is 111 over 65. Usually when it is that low at the end I have some cramping and dizziness but not today. Today I feel just hunky-dory*** and can’t find any internal signs or symptoms of low BP, so it is just WEIRD.
Good thing the BP is low since my first team in the Elite Eight is losing: I picked and want Memphis to topple the Ohio State boys and although Memphis gives them a run for the money, Ohio State pulls it out and wins. Oh well. Then, on comes UCLA and Kansas (our last Big 12 hope) and it is an okay game, although Kansas played worse than I’ve seen them play all year. They aren’t making their shots and although they are tough defenders, the Bruins have Collison, who is playing like a pro today. As Matt is pulling my needles out and patching me up, I watching the score go back and forth and thinking that Kansas still can pull this one out. I rush home to catch the end of the game.
Later: So, Kansas loses and my picks for the final four are slashed by 50%. Yuck!
But, the Kick Kats won their first game of the season so that's GREAT! Shayna's soccer team was so good last season the league put them in against the next older group this season and they hadn't won a game yet (4 down) until today, when they pulled a 4 to 3 upset! La-dee-da.
Notes: In at 73.4 and out at 72.5 Kgs.
* Kerrville Folk Festival 2007 Performers retrieved online from
http://www.kerrvillefolkfestival.com/2007_performers.htm
** Dave Oberman, Folkways retrieved online from KUT http://kut.org/music/show/2
**** “Hunky dory” retreived online March, 2007 from The Phrase Finder at http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/1/messages/2785.html
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
3/21/07
115) Equinox
March 20, 2007
Tuesday
El Milagro: I get to the center just about on time and have to sit for 10 minutes before Carol can come stick me. I am reading two papers Barry Duncan* sent me today and reminding myself ho
w clearly I think he writes. In one he has a picture of a dolphin hanging mid-air after a mighty jump… and right there beside it is a cow floating there as if to suggest that the cow and the dolphin are jumping in synch. He notes that “…a swimming contest between a cow and a dolphin is not really a fair comparison.”** This is such an obvious conclusion that I chuckle that he adds a picture to make the whole thing quite clear.
So I finish reading the papers, chat with Jennifer the Dietician, and watch the news. Jennifer reports on my annual lab work and the results for several of my chemical time bombs are quite good, as follows:
Albumen 4.0 (Goal is 4.0 or higher)
nPCR HD UKM 1.17 (Goal is 1.0 or higher) ---> represents protein intake
HCT CALC 42.6 (Goal is 33 or higher) ---> red blood cell count
Iron Saturation 28 (Goal is 20-50%) ---> iron
Feritin 170 (Goal is 100-800) ---> stored iron
CALC corrected 8.6 (Goal is8.4-9.4) ---> calcium
Phosphorous 5.3 (Goal is 3.5-5.5) ---> GOOD for once: this was the last time bomb that we took care of with the $900 (if I had no insurance) horse pills
CAxPhos Corrected 45.6 (Goal <> again, this is good. PTH Intact 226 (Goal 150-300) ß parathyroid hormone is good!
Potassium 6.0 (Goal 3.5-5.5) ---> Still a time bomb and Jennifer and I talk about coffee, and other things that may lower it. I’m depressed when I read on the report, “This is VERY DANGEROUS. Muscle weakness and heart failure leading to DEATH may occur.”, and that seems quite bothersome to me. My mood drops.
I guess I’ll be backing off the coffee… is that an excuse for sleeping through the morning? Throughout the rest of the session I am in a funk. Damn. I hate being reminded I am sick!
Notes: In at 76.6 and out at 73.0 Kgs.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
*See The Talking Cure online at http://www.talkingcure.com/
** From Duncan, B., & Miller, S., (2006) Treatment manuals do not improve outcome. In Norcross, J., Levant., R., & Beutler, L. (Eds) Evidence based practices in mental health. Washington, D.C.: APA Press.
Tuesday
El Milagro: I get to the center just about on time and have to sit for 10 minutes before Carol can come stick me. I am reading two papers Barry Duncan* sent me today and reminding myself ho
w clearly I think he writes. In one he has a picture of a dolphin hanging mid-air after a mighty jump… and right there beside it is a cow floating there as if to suggest that the cow and the dolphin are jumping in synch. He notes that “…a swimming contest between a cow and a dolphin is not really a fair comparison.”** This is such an obvious conclusion that I chuckle that he adds a picture to make the whole thing quite clear.So I finish reading the papers, chat with Jennifer the Dietician, and watch the news. Jennifer reports on my annual lab work and the results for several of my chemical time bombs are quite good, as follows:
Albumen 4.0 (Goal is 4.0 or higher)
nPCR HD UKM 1.17 (Goal is 1.0 or higher) ---> represents protein intake
HCT CALC 42.6 (Goal is 33 or higher) ---> red blood cell count
Iron Saturation 28 (Goal is 20-50%) ---> iron
Feritin 170 (Goal is 100-800) ---> stored iron
CALC corrected 8.6 (Goal is8.4-9.4) ---> calcium
Phosphorous 5.3 (Goal is 3.5-5.5) ---> GOOD for once: this was the last time bomb that we took care of with the $900 (if I had no insurance) horse pills
CAxPhos Corrected 45.6 (Goal <> again, this is good. PTH Intact 226 (Goal 150-300) ß parathyroid hormone is good!
Potassium 6.0 (Goal 3.5-5.5) ---> Still a time bomb and Jennifer and I talk about coffee, and other things that may lower it. I’m depressed when I read on the report, “This is VERY DANGEROUS. Muscle weakness and heart failure leading to DEATH may occur.”, and that seems quite bothersome to me. My mood drops.
I guess I’ll be backing off the coffee… is that an excuse for sleeping through the morning? Throughout the rest of the session I am in a funk. Damn. I hate being reminded I am sick!
Notes: In at 76.6 and out at 73.0 Kgs.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
*See The Talking Cure online at http://www.talkingcure.com/
** From Duncan, B., & Miller, S., (2006) Treatment manuals do not improve outcome. In Norcross, J., Levant., R., & Beutler, L. (Eds) Evidence based practices in mental health. Washington, D.C.: APA Press.
3/18/07
114) A Leprechaun's Life-alysis
March 17, 2007
Saturday
Earlier: I called El Milagro and talked to Matt, who said I can come in at 12:15 today.
El Milagro: I get a chair that has a TV with a perfect picture today! Herman cannulates me with his usual masterly skill. You can tell by watching him do this that he’s done it thousands of times and it is like second nature for him. These El Milagro staff wear your regular medical uniforms with a dialysis flair. The females wear smocks with teddy bears or flowers and brightly colored string-tie pants and some of the younger women and most of the guys wear t-shirts that say “got binders?” on them, or some other catchy kidney saying. Herman wears one sometimes that says, “Life alysis” and today if finally comes to me that it’s a play on “Die alysis”. Funny! I wonder how many things exist in the worlds that are in our blind spots? We see the world we perceive and yet at any given time there are many things right in front of us that either have no meaning to us, or we haven't groked* them, or we don't even notice them. Some folks used to say that these things didn't exist until we noticed them, but I think it's more complicated (or simple) than that. I think they are waiting for us to notice them in order to expand our awareness. I think a magician or a genie or a leprechaun (AHA I got a St. Pat's reference in here today!) must set up the world in some mysterious way, hiding things for us to discover and have "Aha" experiences. Or, maybe finding these things we didn't know until we saw them a certain way is like peeking behind the curtain of the real universe and recognizing that the pin-prick lights we see as stars is really 'the Light' poking through the darkness of our naïveté. "Whoa Jack! Calm down puppy.... Earth calling Jack..." Okay... it could be just me catching on to things the world has understood all along.
On March Madness today I get to watch Xavier vs. Ohio State. What a great game! I find myself rooting for Xavier even though I’ve picked OSU in my brackets. I’m philosophically cogitating about why I have one strategy for picking my picks for the brackets and an opposite perspective when watching the games. For making up my brackets, I look through the games and do some research and then pick the teams I think will win, usually based on their win/loss record, history in the finals, coaches, or other non-rational tidbits conjured up in my brain. So, I end up with brackets of picked winners. Then, when I’m actually watching the games, I find myself cheering on the underdogs, dark horses, and upstarts; the teams that have to struggle, play their best, and be hyper-motivated to win. Such it was with Xavier. I wanted to see them beat Ohio State, just because it seemed like such an upset and would have been a great example of the David vs. Goliath metaphor. Of course, I am sure that my sister-in-law, an OSU grad, wouldn’t agree with this tangent. So, now I’m thinking, “I wonder how it would be to use a strategy that would have me picking underdogs for the brackology… say, pick winners for the first round and then go to the underdogs from then on?” So, Ohio State pulls it out in overtime, after Justin Cage missed his second foul shot, which woulda put Xavier in the winner’s bracket. Imagine how Cage is feeling.
Well, so then we go on to Butler vs. Maryland and A.J. Graves knocks down Goliath. What a game! And then Vandy beats Washington State in a second overtime… WOW! By this time I’m back at home again and the Saturday Life-alysis session is history. I guess that March Madness has me so hypnotized I don’t really recall the decannulation (Matt did it), weigh out (wrote it down), or drive home (very quickly, I’m sure).
Notes: In at 74.3 and out at 71.8 Kgs.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
* "Grok" see Wikepedia online at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok
Saturday
Earlier: I called El Milagro and talked to Matt, who said I can come in at 12:15 today.
El Milagro: I get a chair that has a TV with a perfect picture today! Herman cannulates me with his usual masterly skill. You can tell by watching him do this that he’s done it thousands of times and it is like second nature for him. These El Milagro staff wear your regular medical uniforms with a dialysis flair. The females wear smocks with teddy bears or flowers and brightly colored string-tie pants and some of the younger women and most of the guys wear t-shirts that say “got binders?” on them, or some other catchy kidney saying. Herman wears one sometimes that says, “Life alysis” and today if finally comes to me that it’s a play on “Die alysis”. Funny! I wonder how many things exist in the worlds that are in our blind spots? We see the world we perceive and yet at any given time there are many things right in front of us that either have no meaning to us, or we haven't groked* them, or we don't even notice them. Some folks used to say that these things didn't exist until we noticed them, but I think it's more complicated (or simple) than that. I think they are waiting for us to notice them in order to expand our awareness. I think a magician or a genie or a leprechaun (AHA I got a St. Pat's reference in here today!) must set up the world in some mysterious way, hiding things for us to discover and have "Aha" experiences. Or, maybe finding these things we didn't know until we saw them a certain way is like peeking behind the curtain of the real universe and recognizing that the pin-prick lights we see as stars is really 'the Light' poking through the darkness of our naïveté. "Whoa Jack! Calm down puppy.... Earth calling Jack..." Okay... it could be just me catching on to things the world has understood all along.
On March Madness today I get to watch Xavier vs. Ohio State. What a great game! I find myself rooting for Xavier even though I’ve picked OSU in my brackets. I’m philosophically cogitating about why I have one strategy for picking my picks for the brackets and an opposite perspective when watching the games. For making up my brackets, I look through the games and do some research and then pick the teams I think will win, usually based on their win/loss record, history in the finals, coaches, or other non-rational tidbits conjured up in my brain. So, I end up with brackets of picked winners. Then, when I’m actually watching the games, I find myself cheering on the underdogs, dark horses, and upstarts; the teams that have to struggle, play their best, and be hyper-motivated to win. Such it was with Xavier. I wanted to see them beat Ohio State, just because it seemed like such an upset and would have been a great example of the David vs. Goliath metaphor. Of course, I am sure that my sister-in-law, an OSU grad, wouldn’t agree with this tangent. So, now I’m thinking, “I wonder how it would be to use a strategy that would have me picking underdogs for the brackology… say, pick winners for the first round and then go to the underdogs from then on?” So, Ohio State pulls it out in overtime, after Justin Cage missed his second foul shot, which woulda put Xavier in the winner’s bracket. Imagine how Cage is feeling.
Well, so then we go on to Butler vs. Maryland and A.J. Graves knocks down Goliath. What a game! And then Vandy beats Washington State in a second overtime… WOW! By this time I’m back at home again and the Saturday Life-alysis session is history. I guess that March Madness has me so hypnotized I don’t really recall the decannulation (Matt did it), weigh out (wrote it down), or drive home (very quickly, I’m sure).
Notes: In at 74.3 and out at 71.8 Kgs.
New Readers: For A Welcome Post, click August 2006 on the Sidebar.
* "Grok" see Wikepedia online at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok
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